November 08, 2005

Hotel California

Ok, so maybe I'm not in California... but I've unfortunately been living out the famous Eagle's song's lyrics - at least the last verse - "You can check out any time you like, but you can NEVER leave". To spare you the gory details, I'll just sum it up by saying that my husband's previous employer (out of spite?) "erased" him (their term, not mine!) before he was cut his last paycheck (which should have been direct deposited last Friday). That meant that we were CASHLESS at the end of last week, and had to cash our apartment deposit money order to live on for this week. Since last Friday, though, we found a wonderful church in a different part of town, and found a nicer apartment complex across the river. So, we are glad that God is pulling our strings, even though we often get very weary of the dance. For every setback, we have to remind ourselves that God has a master plan in effect... and what we see as a trial is sometimes just a training course to make us better Christians. Thankfully, my loving father-in-law paid for us to stay in our hotel another week... or we would have been pitching a (borrowed) tent in the nearby state park!

The hotel internet is intermittent at best. It's also very slow when it's up and running. We lost connection Saturday morning, and just now got it back. I am sure it was something simple like a server needing to be reset.... and my husband (being a computer nerd - and I say that in the most loving, affectionate way possible!) was wringing his hands yesterday over it. They sent someone out here last night from their "internet service provider"... and walla! Today we are able to surf. Me thinks Kevin was right about the server needing to be reset.

The tree out my window is loosing it's leaves now. It is almost entirely red. The streets here have lovely red leaves everywhere. It is almost as if there are rose petals fluttering across the streets and skies. The yellow leaves are falling as well, and the oranges are fading to browns. We took a lovely drive half way across the state Saturday, and stopped at a Fudge shop. I love the new scenery, but every time I get behind a Texas license plate, or see something that reminds me of the Lone Star State, I get misty. The other day, we ate at Luby's and the cup said: "Tastes Like Texas. Feels Like Home." I get watery eyes just typing that! You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl! (*sniff, sniff*)

The nice homeschool moms I met on Friday at the park day we attended also live in the area near our newfound church. We are getting an apartment near the park they meet at. I am hoping that we can also join a gym and get plugged in to some activities for the kids. We're going to make up these 2.5 plus homeschool weeks in the summer, or maybe regain a few of them through the holidays (Thanksgiving/ Christmas/ Spring Break).

I have been trying to relax and de-stress myself - being homeless has it's tense moments. This morning, I opened my Bible before the kids got up and felt a load lift off of my shoulders. I exhaled a deep breath and said a prayer. I read a little about the glory of God appearing to the Israelites in the desert and consuming their offering with fire. I think the message was respect. Living in a crisis doesn't give me excuse to disrespect the Lord by ignoring Him or trying to live by my own strength. Sometimes a crisis is the best time to be a good example. The children and I read the story of Uzza reaching out to right the Ark of the Covenant also, and although Uzza was trying to prevent a fall, he failed to remember that God is Lord of ALL (even Lord when we're in a pickle). He deserves our obedience, even if the ox cart is about to tip over. After I read about this, I flipped aimlessly backwards and opened the Bible to Psalm 25. It was so awesome, it made me cry.

I found a lot of Psalm 25 that I could personalize to my situation right now. God always has a fresh word for us when we turn to Him. Sometimes, even when we don't know what to pray, the Holy Spirit will intercede for us (Romans 8:26 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express). I know lately I find myself just speaking His name, through tears, and not knowing what I need to pray. I am glad Jesus knows what I need, even when I don't.

Psalm 25
(Of David.)

1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

3 No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

13 He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.

18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

19 See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!

New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society


Jan said...

Life isn't easy when you're living in a small space. But, like you said better your own small space than a hotel room.
You continue to be in my prayers as I think about your financial circumstances, and the enormous changes you and your family are undergoing.
Yet, in the midst of everything, isn't it great to know that God is present, and caring, and wanting to be your "present help in trouble"? What a loving God we serve.I will light a candle for your family tonight. Blessings.

Barbara said...

great post! thanks for sharing Psalm 25...can't help but sing that first verse ;-)

Sprittibee said...

Thank you Jan. Your prayers are such a blessing.

Thanks Barbara. I ran across another verse last Sunday at church that brought tears to my eyes as well... so I'll have to post it this Sunday.

I'm pretty sure this long hotel stay is to help us with our gratitude for the apartment. We would have been far less thankful if we had just went from a 2,500 sf house into a 900 sf apartment without any trouble. God knows what we need! Sometimes, unfortunantly, it is a hefty dose of humility.

My Boaz's Ruth said...

Note, also, the Ark wasn't supposed to be being carried on an oxcart in the first place



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