April 22, 2006

Mrs. Grumpy Pants

Not sure if this is PMS (People-eating Monster Syndrome), or just a case of the "woe is me"s... but I just really am in an awful mood. I know that I don't have any reason to be... and that God is good. I really need a heart-cleaning right about now.

This week ended up being mostly time-off, and I feel like I haven't gotten anything accomplished. Oh, sure... we cooked dinner for a friend, met our co-op moms for a play date, got a few worksheets done, cleaned the house, picked up Daddy's truck that is finally fixed, took photos at an old local park blooming full of azeleas, and spent a few hours at a roller rink today for a birthday party.... but as for my lesson plans? Forget them. Our weeks run from Thursday through Monday (with most of Sunday off except for reading and Bible). So, this is my third day this week feeling like a homeschool flop. I thought I would come in and encourage you if you were feeling the same (it helps to know you aren't the only one struggling to get it all done).

Not only the lack of "directed schooling" this week, but I am antsy about our upcoming trip to Texas (wishing I was already on it), and I'm really having a bad attitude about being away from home in general. It doesn't help that one of my cousins got married today and the whole family was together in one spot - gathered together from all over the Lone Star State. I couldn't be there to see everyone. I go through phases with missing home (sometimes more than one in a day), and today's phase is not a happy one. I asked the apartments today if they had a three bedroom available (since it's not way-too much more money), and how much month-to-month would cost when our lease comes up for renewal pretty soon. I'm leaning towards just staying here in my two-bedroom... and trying to have a good attitude about it. The hot ("Texas") weather and sunshine today just made me angry... like a kid stomping their feet with their bottom lip stuck out in a pout. I guess it's a good thing today that I have no extra money in the account to head for the border. It was God's way of keeping me from wasting it.

So, please excuse me for my lack of sparkle today... and for being so grumpy. Maybe I should get out of bed (I took a nap after our roller rink trip today because the kids were tired and cranky, too)... and clean up the apartment so I can sit down in front of my Bible and catch an "attitude check". Sure couldn't hurt. Then I'll get out my lesson planner and try and re-claim the last two days of the week. Or maybe I'll just call it "Spring Break" and get caught up on grading papers. Who knows? I know that staying in this pity pot is not where I need to be.

Hope your day is going well! 18.5 days until the Arlington Book Fair (note the new ticker at the bottom of the browser)! I can't wait!

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Lauren said...

Hi, I'm just dropping in to give you some e-support. I know how stressful things can get. I really enjoy your blog. Feel better :)

Sprittibee said...

Thanks Lauren. I am sure that God will "correct" my attitude - hopefully as gentle as possible - pretty quickly. :) I really appreciate your comment, though. It helps to know you have people cheering you on.

Anonymous said...

Sweetie, I'm sorry you're having such a bad day. I'm sending hugs and prayers to you right now. Just remember you are right where you need to be at this point in your life and doing what's best for Kevin and the kids. Please call me if you ever need ANYTHING or just need to vent.

Love ya,

Rhonda said...

I am so sorry things are so hard right now. It really does stink when life is not what you want it to be. Just remember that God is there with you through it all. He has wonderful plans for you and your family, whether it be back in Texas or not.

Love ya!

MonicaR said...

Oh dear - I'm so sorry you're down. Give yourself some credit - you got a lot accomplished this week. I know much of it wasn't part of the plan. Flying by the seat of one's pants can be harrowing, yet productive.;-)

Take care - the azaleas are just starting here and they are one of my favorites.

Sheri said...

I am so sorry you are having a difficult time.

I do that too. Although I think you have plans on returning to Texas at some point, I have no hope of returning to my beloved California. And NO ONE, not one single person knows how lonely I am, how often I cry about it and how much I miss the state and everything about it (and the people who live there)...because if I did tell my husband it would turn into a huge pity party for him and I can't let him go there. So I go through each day, trying to smile and enjoy where God planted me, but I do catch myself looking up at the sky for my mountains quite often.

Sprittibee said...

Amanda - Thank you so much. I don't deserve to be surrounded by such wonderful people! God is good, and I'm so glad our paths have crossed and hope to keep you in my life as a friend forever... no matter where geography takes both of us!

Rhonda - Thanks so much for your prayers. We are so excited to see you at the Arlington Convention!!!

Monicar - Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really needed it. And yes, the flowers are really wonderful here.

Sheri - Thanks for putting it in perspective. I remember visiting Washington as a kid and seeing the spectacular view of mountains and the wonderful mild summers and redwood trees. I never got to live there, even though my grandparents did for most of their lives. I rarely got to see them, and it was magical when I did go. I haven't been able to afford a trip back to the pacific coast with my family, and they have never seen it. I get teary eyed thinking of visiting again. I certainly can understand why you would love it there. I'm not sure why you had to leave or how long you were there, but I pray that one day, God will let you return if that is your heart's desire. And if not, I pray He'll lead you to Texas some day in the future so you can be my next door neighbor! We ain't got no snow-capped mountains, but the hill-country is quite nice. ;)

MonicaR said...

I have been in Philly for almost 18 years. I grew up in Denver and it took a good 5 years to feel like this was home. Sometimes when there are clouds on the horizon I have to do a double-take because it looks like the mountains. I still do miss the big sky and those mountains. I feel so bad for you Sheri and Sprittibee. I hope that you both find home wherever you might be. It's terrible to be homesick.

buggymug said...

Hey, Bee! :) ((((HUGS)))) for you, sweetie! My dh gets in the same pity pot sometimes when he gets homesick for Ohio. Certain times of year are especially bad, like in the fall when the high school bands are playing and football is in full swing. And considering you've not even been in AR for a full year, I can certainly imagine how homesick you must be. I wish I knew what to say to help. ((hugs)) Just know that I love ya, and I'm praying for you and your family - for all things in your lives to be at peace.

You know you have a standing invitation any time at my house! We'd love to have you and your family for a visit. Wouldn't it be nice if gas prices could just drop for a weekend???


cindy said...

Hey Heather,

I've just been studying the life of Joseph - talk about providence at work. I can't imagine any better pick-me-up than taking a little time to meditate on his life, suffering, unfailing faith, and great reward.

You are a blessing to so many people through your intelligence, wit, beautiful spirit and wisdom beyond your years. Thank you for sharing with us.

Rejoice in the Lord always! Philippians 4:4


Douglas said...

I personally think you're doing a fantastic job, and that the devil hates your guts. What seems to help is to remind the devil of his future, of how he's going to have to bow his knee and confess with his forked tongue that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

Sprittibee said...

Thanks guys. You really are an encouragement. :) God gave us an unexpected blessing this week. He must know I'm down. *grin* Kevin got Friday and Saturday off for a change (instead of Tues/Wed) and we get to go out of town this weekend to see a family member. And I'm sure I'll feel a bit better once I've had my "Texas Fix" in just a few weeks. Morgan was on the phone last night talking to her friend in Texas she plans to visit... and we all will have a lot of fun riding roller coasters with people from all over Texas and our good friends from here! We really have nothing to complain about. We have our health and eachother - and we live in a blessed land where we can worship the Lord!

Instead of focusing on me... I'm praying for the military and our brothers and sisters overseas today. We're doing school and getting ready for our weekend... and gearing up for Compassion Sunday on the 30th! We plan to pray for the kids and sponsors since we can't afford to sponsor another child.

sara said...

Awwww....I'm sorry you had a bad day! I'm just now getting a chance to catch up on your blog for being "off" for two weeks. Don't feel bad, there was plenty of familial drama on the wedding day, especially when we got home Monday...so you're not the only one who is--er, was--in a hacky mood! And, for the record, we stole Morgan's "gumpy" word. I call John Mr. Gumpy when he gets in a mood, it always gets a smile. He now announces he is "gumpy". LOL It's such a cute word! Anyway, love ya!

Sprittibee said...

Sara - My mom sent me two bags of wedding mints from the wedding. Liked the bags you had them in. :) Sorry we couldn't be there.

sara said...

it's ok, I'm glad you got some mints though, Paige did a good job with the cute little pouches she put them in.



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