28

28. That's how many draft posts I have waiting to publish.

Do you want to know what is so sad about that? I just don't feel like blogging.

I wonder what it is that has happened to me over the past few weeks that has made me feel like this... maybe it is Canon's death, our long Texas-Trip weekend off of school, the lack of excitement (and entries) for the last contest I ran, my continual computer problems, the holidays coming up without family again (we live "out-of-state"), the somber and wet weather we've had, ... or just plain PMS (Prefer My Sketchpad)?

I hope you will forgive me for "cheating" on you with other hobbies. I'm taking the kids outside to sketch tomorrow. We took a few days (early Thanksgiving Break) off for our Texas-Trip and are trying to finish up "Eyes" and "Other Senses" by Saturday. A few leftover activities include a visit to the Art Museum and doing a few of our own visual arts... sketching (nature), watercolors and canvas-painting. Not sure where we'll come up with the supplies... but God will provide if we are meant to get the task completed.

So... since I don't feel like blogging, I'll share with you something much more interesting than me right now.... Read the devotional that I read today below:

November 1 ~ "You Are Not Your Own"
By Oswald Chambers (My Utmost For His Highest)

"Do you not know that... you are not your own?" - 1 Corinthians 6:19

There is no such thing as a private life, or a place to hide in this world, for a man or woman who is intimately aware of and shares in the sufferings of Jesus Christ. God divides the private life of His saints and makes it a highway for the world on one hand and for Himself on the other. No human being can stand that unless he is identified with Jesus Christ. We are not sanctified for ourselves. We are called into intimacy with the gospel, and things happen that appear to have nothing to do with us. But God is getting us into fellowship with Himself. Let Him have His way. If you refuse, you will be of no value to God in His redemptive work in the world, but will be a hindrance and stumbling block.

The first thing God does is get us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our cares for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why shouldn't we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God's purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hands of His Son, as if to say, "Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

I thank you, Jesus... for all of the trails and tests we have persevered through by your grace these last few years.... for all of the patience and mercy you have on us as you keep your promise to gently lead us with chords of loving-kindness...

Forgive me for feeling sorry for myself and grumbling. Let me remember the suffering of others and use my voice to pray for the lost and persecuted. Turn my eyes upon You and all those whom You love. Amen.

Maybe if I would look less at the trees, I could see the forest. Maybe then my 28 would not seem like 280. Maybe I could find my joy again if my heart and purposes were full of Him.

I drew them with gentle cords,
With bands of love,
And I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck.
I stooped and fed them.

~ Hosea 11:4

Buzz Words: melancholy, life, homeschool, art, artwork, sketching, rambling, blogging, Christianity, painting, homeschooling, prayer, joy, reflection, personal, self pity, complaining, Jesus, Oswald Chambers