June 30, 2007

How to Know if You're in Texas


1. Your storage unit comes with a few dead scorpions and a live 10-inch centipede. (That photo is the real deal. That sucker crawled out from under our storage unit building when the rain started.)

2. In every gas station you will hear blaring love-sick cowboy western music over the speakers.

3. If you stop in any small town McDonald's, you will find at least one really old farmer in a cowboy hat. He might even tip his hat to you if you don't look like you just drove in from New York or California (no offense to my NY and CA buddies!).

4. You see about 90% more Texas flags than you do American flags.

5. Everything is bigger and better.


7. There isn't a restaurant that doesn't serve jalapeƱos as a condiment.

8. Everybody says, "Howdy" (the informal version of "Hi") as a greeting. What else would you expect of the "Friendship State"?

9. It takes at least an hour to get anywhere you are going (and not necessarily because of traffic). If you go "a ways", you might be talking about a 3-4 hour drive (such as between Houston and Austin or Dallas and Houston).

10. If you break down, it only takes about five minutes and an ex-marine wearing a cowboy hat and driving a "Superduty, fully-loaded 350 Big Dooley" will arrive on the scene with a tow chain to assist you. He won't let you pay him for his help, either. (This has actually happened to me - when I got stuck in the mud trying to turn my vehicle around while going on a field trip with the kids). I can't tell you how many times I've been helped by friendly Texas drivers in my life.

Texan Quick Links
More facts and trivia about Texas
Cowboy 10 Commandments
Whut Makes You Thank Teksuns Tawk Funny?
Texas Edition Barbie Dolls
A Texan in Heaven

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Amy said...

ewww! I would totally run away SCREAMING if I saw that thing.

I'm glad you've arrived safely!!

My Boaz's Ruth said...


Bunny Trails said...

That #1 is the very reason I couldn't possible live in Texas. I'll be happy to come visit some day (you've given a lot of good reasons), but the bugs would send me over the edge! :D

Heather said...

Amy - Just as long as you don't touch them, you'll be fine. They have pinchers under their head that inject poison (like a bee sting) and their legs can actually cut your skin and sting as well. It is very rare that you will see those critters, though. They are almost ALWAYS outside and in dark, rocky, hidden places. I only know one person in my extended family who has been stung by one and she lives in the country - a tiny town in central Texas.

MBR - So when are you moving home???

Bunny Trails: Awww, don't worry - I have only seen a live centipede about five times in my entire 32 years of living in TX. They are mostly an outside pest that is VERY well hidden. I got bit more in Arkansas from chiggers in 2 years than I did in Texas for most of my life with all types of insects put together (excluding mosquitoes - which are rampant in Houston). ;)

Don't let the bugs keep you away from here. It is a REALLY big and really NICE place! ;)

Plus... I'm here! LOL

- Heather

Bunny Trails said...

Oh, all right. Well, we'll have to head on down one of these days. :D

Bev said...

Wow, I have never seen anything like that before in my LIFE. Y'all really do grow everything bigger in Texas!


KarenW said...

That is one scary bug!!

Heather said...

A few more scary bugs:

green thing
another spider
waspy thing
what the waspy thing is

There are so many cool bugs in TX. My son has tons of TX bug books. He loves insects.

Angela said...

Yikes...I thought the bug was a fake! Luckily in my short time here in Texas I have not run into one of those. It just might have sent me hightailing it back to Idaho!

We just moved to Texas, so I enjoyed your list. I made one of my own recently. You can read it at http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Happyhome/348003/

Amanda Mosley said...

I'm glad you guys made the trip ok and it's even better news about Kevin's job. Congrats! Tell the kids hi for us.


My Boaz's Ruth said...

It is looking like next August at the earliest.

I know, having been gone since 1994 it should not matter so much, 1 more year... but we were so certain of the timing... *wry*

Angela said...

Hubby and I just had a tremendous laugh over Texas Barbies...oh my...that was funny!

Thanks for the BBQ advice. We're north of Dallas. We do love Mexican (or Tex-Mex). It's our fav!

Amber said...

Oh yes, that is one thing I miss about Texas, is the Mexican food. About the post above, if you ever go to SDC, you'd LOVE it, I miss it and my mom sells Honey there, so let be know if you ever head up that way again.

God Bless,

Jessie said...

OH MY GOODNESS...What a critter?!!?

We are headed to Texas for our annual trip next month. I hope we don't see anything resembling that critter!!!


PS..I must eat the mexican food when in town. Where do you recommend our eating in the Fort Worth area??

SeaBird said...

Hahaha! (Although the picture REALLY freaks me out!!!) We are actually headed to Midland next week to visit my parents.

Crystal said...

Yikes I just might die if I saw one of those IRL! I had to kill a house fly (the kind that looks like a giant mosquito) at Denny's last week and it nearly gave me a heart attack!

Anyhoo, one of my favorite friends from Choosing Home lives in Texas! Now I have two friends! It gives me options on where to move if we ever do.

Erika K. said...

I would absolutely FREAK if I saw that centipede in my house or anywhere near me.

The other things were funny though.

<3 Erika K.

Anything and Everthing said...

ugh i hate those things,squrpions are worse though to me!



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