December 03, 2008
Morgan took this shot. Nice shower curtain, eh? So out of my comfort zone to show midriff. I'm not one of those 'rub my belly because I'm pregnant' type human-incubators. I'm generally just uncomfortable the entire nine months (or less, hopefully)... biding my time until I get the epidural (better sooner than later). However, I love to feel the little arms and legs - kicking and swishing around... as long as there's some mutual respect. When baby prevents me from being able to eat because he's half way into my esophagus and deflating my lungs... that presents a problem. Kicks in certain areas are not nice, either. I like it best when he plays fair. I miss those sweet flutters (and even the punching and beating) once baby is in the crib, though; I have to be honest.
At 5.5 months, I feel rather like a large whale. I'm only a pound or two shy of Morgan's DELIVERY weight (thanks in part to my metabolism that went on strike the past 3 years as I hit my mid-30's). And I still have at least 16 or 17 weeks to go. Hopefully the 'breastfeeding trick' will take off the excess poundage quickly. Thank the Lord for back up plans!
Now if I could just make it through labor and delivery without killing my husband. You know he had the nerve to say to me the other day... "I was thinking about how this baby would be lonely without a sibling that was it's age". WHAT?! I told him that it was his turn to have the next one - if there was one. That shut him up.
Naw, I'm really not so heartless. Babies are cute and we make'em purdy. So I won't be getting a tube knot just yet. However, I'd like time to develop labor pain amnesia if ever there will be another bee in the hive. Or maybe we'll get blessed with the finances to adopt a bee someday.
Never say never. That's good advice. I tried that after Morgan was born (even prayed that God would remind me of how awful her birth was so I wouldn't ever do this again, I'm ashamed to say). And now look at me: FAT, pregnant, emotionally unstable.
God knows what's best. His blessings are always better than our best laid-out plans in life. Just think... nearly 16 years ago when I married my gorgeous hunk - I had ABSOLUTELY NO (zilch/nada) desire to have kids. Even less of a desire to stay home. And if you would have told me I might end up teaching children at home and cooking international foods... or gardening... I would have laughed in your face with a wicked snarl (while drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, and scarfing down a convenience store hot-dog). That's God's sense of humor shining through, folks. From street urchin to partially domestic homeschool mom in less than a decade. And people think faith is crazy - I'd say life without it is crazy!
The neatest part? God knew my heart's desires before I did. Because He created my heart in His own image.
Now he's busy creating another little heart - inside my belly. Because He loves me even when I never deserved it. Guess I should quit whining about not being able to breathe or get up off the floor then. I certainly have much to be thankful for.
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