Make Way for the Pregnant Lady

I've always wanted to ride in one of those carts. Even as goofy as I felt (and looked with my poofy shirt looking more like a wrinkly hot-air balloon and my kids acting like dorks), we had fun at Target. I got a thrill backing up and making beeping noises. I'm pretty sure there were a few boy toddlers who were majorly jealous. What a big day we had. I got to clip the edge of an aisle (don't tell, please - HEY it was my FIRST time!), spill water in a neat half-circle on the floor through the basket after a jolting start ("clean up on aisle 12!"), nearly run over my children, and get lots of strange looks from old folks passing me with grocery carts (that they were pushing themselves).

Shoot. My mom even parked in the handicap spot outside. [We do have a handicap in our family. It just happens to be MENTAL.]

You probably guessed by now that the huge, fat, dangerous driver in the photo above is me. You would be right there. I'm still pregnant and trying to prevent contractions until after the baby shower!

The 12 hours of contractions I had yesterday that ended at 4AM sure got me in high gear to get the last minute items we needed for our hospital trip. I mean, who can go have a baby without a box of Choxie? A personal Igloo? A box of Tucks Medicated Pads? Yogurt covered raisins? And of course... tapes for the video camera. I even bought a few things for the baby shower (that I'm trying desperately to attend - hence my embarrassing ride on the automatic grocery cart today).

And when things get embarrassing, mom's always there with her camera. That's what moms are for, I hear.

So in case you were wondering what happened after the ellipse on my contraction countdown yesterday... or in case you have been following my crazy twitter about back pain, heartburn, and labor fears - rest assured that the Viking is still sound (if safe?) in his VERY SNUG little digs for the time being. I'm hoping he stays there until we can manage to procure some baby gear to transport him home from the hospital. Sweet Grandma Betty has told us she's bringing something of the sort to the shower.

I'm still dreaming of those owly cupcakes. It's a win-win situation for little 'V' - if he stays put a few more days: he can have his cake (I hear that flavors translate through amniotic fluid) and a cooly-cool ride home in his brand new car-seat.

What more could a Viking want? Other than more legroom... and less poking from mom?

Don't worry baby. It's all green lights for delivery after Saturday! I'll be going down my list of wives-tales on how to trick your body in to expelling huge-Viking-child as soon as the butter-cream icing sugar-rush has subsided Saturday afternoon. No more bed rest for me! And no more electric shopping carts! Hey Target! Watch out for the post-baby-shower pregnant lady doing laps through the skinny clothes section. Yep - that will be me next week!


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