May 28, 2009
Staff and Subscribers:
Hi. My name is Kohen. I'm cuter than Mr. Daddy... as you can see from my shirt. This note is to serve as an announcement that this blog has been taken over by new management and: I am the boss.
I have been known in certain circles as "High Maintenance", but I assure you, I'm worth all the effort you'll put out working for me.
I say when my staff is allowed to post. I will be giving them assignments from now on. Most of these assignments will not be blog-related, but are time sensitive and very important.
1. Bath time. Hint: wait until after you know I've pooped in my diaper before putting me in the bath. I'm not sure about that yellow plastic thing with eyes that floats around in the water. Please keep it away from me or I will cry.
2. Press Photos. Only staff with one-handed photo-editing capabilities will be allowed to post photos with articles. In fact, one-handed blogging is a required skill now that I'm calling the shots. Just pretend like you have one arm. Don't ask me to feel sorry for you. You're whining to someone who can't eat chocolate. We all have our own problems; don't we now?
3. Keeping the man from blowing raspberries on my belly. Can we say "harassment"?! Note: please tell him to shave. Whassup with the whiskers on my exquisitely soft skin? What exactly is Mr. Daddy's job-assignment again? We don't need any slim-shadies around here with five o'clock shadow.
4. Making me smile. When I'm not happy, 'ain't nobody happy. Not even the neighbors.
5. Food. Constant supply of warm milk should be top on the to-do list. No exceptions.
As long as these and other duties are performed in a timely and adequate manner, the blog may or may not run smoothly. I'm not promising anything, people. I have my moods. Live with it.
I'll be watching to make sure that things are done according to my schedule. I'm a real stickler for putting people to work - making the most of their time, you know. I run a tight ship, but I'm sure that these changes will be better for the blog in the long-run. That's why I'm the boss and you're not.