March 19, 2011

...And Then They're Gone

My great grandmother - the tiniest girl, youngest of four, her father's favorite. She was a black sheep like me. A survivor. She left home young and married a troubled man who drank too much and loved too little. Divorce was unheard of back then... but she endured it after close to ten children in ten years. One of those ten was my grandma Jessie (named after her mama, the littlest girl in this photo).

The father in this photo is a man named Fred. His daddy was a wounded Southern veteran from the Civil War. He arrived home to find that his wife had remarried. Apparently the friend that saw him get shot and taken to a military hospital wasn't a real friend. She believed the lie that he was dead. Fred, only a boy then, walked 9 miles to his father after he returned to town... then moved away to live with his daddy, leaving his mama and her new husband behind.

I love family history. The people we came from ... they were real. They experienced emotion... trials... life. There's flesh and bone reality lurking behind those faces on the age-colored photographs of our ancestors.

Life moves fast and then we all are just an image in someone's scrapbook.

We forget how quickly the days pass. The newborn uncurling his fingers to grasp your hand... now holding a hand out to grasp a set of keys and take his driver's test. The sweet bubbling smile of a newlywed maturing in to the sad tears of a wife lamenting the loss of her lifelong partner.

Even this shall pass.

I know I've been absent lately - just living life with these four children. It's a new dynamic. It takes some time to get adjusted. Not to mention added sick-time... eight little lungs with bronchitis.

On a particularly busy day this week, I got a letter from my great aunt. Out of the blue, she sent me just what I needed to hear. Look up there at the little girl in the photo and just imagine... it was one of her ten children who wrote the letter below. Time really is slipping by...

Heather, love -

Hang in there. Before you know it, the children will be out and gone. Then like me, you will wonder - were they ever babies at all?

I look at the pictures and some times I think "were they really real... and mine"? Of course, I see the pictures - now all grown up - and know they are my son and daughter... as I get older (every day), I realize they have lives and families of their own. Like me now, their children are grown up and on their own. Bill will be 66 in August and Laurel will be 65 in October.

Time passes on.

I love you and your family and know what a busy time your life is. Take care of yourself dear. Love to all of you. I pray your children are well at this time.

Aunt Dot

I cried after I read the letter... imagining the busy moments speeding by and leaving me empty handed with just memories of how wonderful it was to hold each of these blessings for just a short time. To learn with them and laugh with them, cry with them and hug them close.

I'm doing what one anonymous reader on this site suggested a while back (thank you):

Decide each day to give yourself fully to loving your children. Don't hold back.

Really, that's all life is about.



Sonita @ said...

What a great post. It's been years since I did any genealogy digging.

"Decide each day to give yourself fully to loving your children. Don't hold back."

I LOVE that!

Jenn said...

As if I wasn't enough of an emotional wreck BEFORE I read this....(sigh)

How much love she has for you to send you these words! And how much more our Father has for you in His timing of you receiving it!

And Aunt Dot is so right. Moments are turning into days, and days into years. I realize it every day when I look at Nicholas. (and my wrinkles)

Love you, sweet girl - just keep holding those little (and not-so-little) hands and loving those babies. That IS what life is all about....

Rebecca said...

Sweet Heather, what a beautiful legacy. Triumph through struggle....and yes, it's tough right now. I have 3, can't imagine have a true heart for God...full of love and peace for others. You are in my prayers. I am so thankful you shared this with everyone! Blessings!

Michelle ~ Blogging from the Boonies said...

Cue the flood-gates. That totally made me cry! :sniff:

April said...

Thank you for sharing this one! And, for old photo and family story!

Phyllis said...

How wonderful you know so much of your family history. How wonderful you have such a loving Aunt. How wonderful you are such a good mother to wonderful children. With a wonderful family like that, your life is blessed.

Shannon said...

How true it is that time passes too quickly. We never know what I day may bring. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Your absense is perfectly understandable, and God and family are first! :o)

Sprittibee said...

Phyllis: Yes - I'm blessed, but not so wonderful. I'm just as flawed as anyone else. My great grandmother left home at 14 and married a drunk. He was not nice to his kids, either. My grandmother was a product of that failed marriage. My own mom divorced twice and I was never close to my own father - always searching for a 'father figure' and often in trouble. The fact that I've nearly been married 20 years, have 4 kids and homeschool them is a miracle of epic porportions. I am a sinner - saved by Grace - and every day that I get little reminders of HIS blessings because I chose to follow Him, I am humbled. That sweet reminder from my grandmother's sister at a harried moment in my frantic life was like the whisper of my Savior telling me to "be still" and enjoy these moments before they are gone. He is the blessing. Without Him my life would be a vacuum.

Sarah said...

What an achingly beautiful letter. My baby is about to be one and I wonder where the time went? I know it will only go faster.
I loved reading the story behind the photo. Family history is amazing.
I hope you all feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

I needed to hear this today. Thank you!

Weekend Cowgirl said...

I love the amazing photo with the history attached. Thanks for sharing and I loved hearing what you had to say...

Mama Teaching 3 said...

This was a most excellant bloggy post! I needed to hear it. Life is quite the challenge once a new one is placed in your arms for the next few years of babyhood. Noah has thrown me for a loop.

I had just decided this week to get what I could done and to only clean when I had the time or desire. I don't want a clean home or everything done in school time with them if it takes away from the joy of the life we have right now.

What we do with them now can never be relived.

theconfidentmom said...

OH my, that letter struck me at a raw nerve! I want to share that with the moms I work with and who struggle each day to get it all done! I think I had better stop playing on the computer and get on the floor with my 15 month old! Life is full of all those memories in the making, we want to make sure we are present in the memory making for sure.

Stacy @ Delighting in the Days said...

What a beautiful letter! Totally cut to my heart!

Thanks for sharing it with us.

And what great advice from one of your readers. I think I need to write that out and stick it on the fridge!

Hope your day is blessed.

Daphene said...

"Life moves fast and then we all are just an image in someone's scrapbook."

I just...I don't understand. This is the exact theme of the blog post that I wrote for you that you decided not to use. :S What? I...




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