Doing What Works

Through this past decade or more of homeschooling, I've tried a lot of things to help us in our quest to 'get school done' and keep track of what we are doing. We've done daily white board lists, assignment binder systems, assignment sheets that mom printed, lesson planners that I filled out as we went along, just reading through our books and not really following a lesson plan because we knew what books we wanted to finish, and laminated flip charts with pictures. I've used baseball card holders with assignments stuck in them, peg board chore charts, iPhone apps, hand-written daily lists, elaborate worksheets that I have created or others created, and Homeschool Tracker software. We used a few different versions of workboxes (school boxes or drawers), too. I sometimes revert to one or more of these methods to change things up, but I find that I always fall back on low-tech lesson planning: good old fashioned paper and pen.

Even while I keep all of my graded work and records in Homeschool Tracker, I still enjoy writing out our weekly requirements. There's something cathartic about actually WRITING something out. It helps me get my mind around what all we have to accomplish during the week. It reminds me of my own school days. It connects me with my to-do list in a way that is tangible. Best of all, it seems to be the one thing that really helps keep the kids on task better than all of my expensive, detailed, complicated 'programs' and processes I tried to implement.

Lately, I've been in a weekly rather than daily mode for my list-making. I include our daily chores in one section, our weekly appointments in another, and then a list for mom and a school list for kids - all on one sheet of paper. How simple is that? I make notes on this list through the week and the kids add check marks for completed items (at the end of the week, some items have 5 checks). The hard part is making sure we don't misplace the notebook that contains our list if we end up taking some school on the road.

For those of you that like to see an example of our simple "what works for us right now" list, here's this week (mind you, this is a week's worth of work - not a day):

MOM:
make worksheet copies (MOH final review, AC p.25 for binders)
post Kaden's last book report
add finished work to Tracker/enrichment club presentations from last week
cut in the paint on the kitchen/hall walls
menu/groceries/bills
Bible Study books procured

DATES:
Blog Chat with Lisa this weekend, Help mom w/ tire & yard
7 year blogiversary Friday
Art class Friday

CHORES:
breakfast, kitchen
teeth, dressed
avoid distractions
gather, sort, rotate laundry
dishes, help w/ lunch
laundry folded, put away
clean rooms
help w/ dinner, dishes, floor, counters
cook or bake
extra chores: bathrooms, vacuuming, sheets, refrigerator, closets

HISTORY:
Mapping MOH
Final Review 1-27 MOH
Haley's Bible Handbook
AC: p. 46
Chronology wksht in history binder
VC cards: green 3 & 4, purple 36 & 37, review order
Finish OWH 103-111
Chapter books on historical period
Iliad - keep reading
MOH Lesson 28
SOTAW 131-136 Sampson
OWH 112-121 Mid East & Test
UWH 142-143 Hebrews
Discussion p. 126 rationalizing powers

OTHER SCHOOL:
thank you cards
last few math pages, make sure graded and recorded
work on memory verse work : Psalm 90:10-17
practice piano
ch 8-12 Raising Maidens of Virtue
Psalm 96-105
24 Family Ways 3:1-6
Write 10 fave Proverbs in prayer journals
Write sponsored child : India
Read Science 241-263
Practice Piano

I don't have to add things like drawing and gardening since lately, every time I turn around, one of the teens is sneaking off to pick weeds and spend time outdoors - or doodling with some new art supply. This week charcoal was the favorite - which made for lots of smudges after the babies discovered that big sis had left the supplies unattended on the dining room table.

I used to have little charts with goals that were character related back in the days when time was not so fleeting. Little people under foot make for much less thoughtful teacher planning time. I've been thinking this week about resurrecting those lists, though. I think each of us could work on some character trait issues. Big kids and mom included. For one thing, I'd really like to do less lecturing and more praising. I tend to turn in to a monster when the chores are not done properly and things are left around the house where they don't belong. The three year old is working on potty training (which makes our days even more interesting than usual - and the carpet a lot uglier). Tiny tot is needing to do a little less nursing and a little more eating of solid food - working on figuring out a way to wean him gently since he prefers milk to pretty much anything (and he's 16 months old already). Biggest dude needs to work on doing things without delay, and taking less time to get tasks completed. Girlie-monster needs to work on less complaining and remembering to pick up the things she gets out (which she gets honest from a certain man in the house who stubbed his toe on his workboots this weekend).

We all have our mountains to climb, don't we? Good thing we have a God big enough for all these monumental tasks.



I love it when you are trudging along and you get a glimpse at the much bigger purpose...

"The most important decision anyone is every called on to make is to settle in one's heart, once and for all, the matter of one's attitude toward Christ.

On that depends everything.

It is a glorious thing to be a Christian, the most exalted privilege of mankind."

That was a snip of our devotional reading today in Halley's Bible Handbook. And so we shake off our medicine head (the cedar mulch and garden herb harvesting this past weekend has done a number on all of us), and we stick our noses back in our books... in between mediating fights over toys and filling tiny tummies with snacks to ward off nap-time crankiness.

This is what works right now. However slow and methodical it might seem.

What works for you? I'd love to read your ideas and thoughts about your homeschool journey as it is right now laid out before you...

Keep trudging along, mama of many homeschoolish kids. You aren't alone!




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I Heart My Kids (and Matzo Ball Soup)

She loves me.

See the heart-shaped matzo ball she made for me last week?

What you don't see is the floating head she put in her daddy's soup. Aren't kids fun?

I hope you are enjoying yours this weekend. Make some fun memories together. It goes by so fast. In a blink, your one year old will be fifteen. Trust me on this. I know first hand.



P.S. Because I know someone will ask... This soup was a Matzo ball kit from the grocery store (Manischewitz) - my daughter made the balls, home made chicken broth I made from a previous night's rotisserie bird, shredded carrot, diced onion and celery (all pan fried in butter before dropping in the soup), a few dashes of hot sauce, some pink salt and fresh ground pepper. Mmmm.

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On Growing

Spring is a quick passing breeze in Texas. We start to feel rather summery in May. This year seems to have been pretty mild as far as the weather goes, though. We are just now beginning to get the first signs of the heat waves that will be here in June.



Being as preoccupied as I have been with homeschooling, planning, paperwork, and the logistics of running a house with a kid in every age group... we completely neglected the garden this year. It was good to us, anyway. We had LOTS of cilantro. Yep - that's the white stuff with the bees and butterflies in it. It begins to taste funny after it flowers, and it dies off at the first sign of heat, but apparently, it seeds itself and takes over your entire garden if you leave it alone and let it do "its thing". This is the second year we've let it alone in the garden, so next year, I suspect our entire yard may be one big forest of cilantro.



I enjoyed eating dishes with cilantro, making salads with it, using it in soups and stuffing it in tacos... but it eventually begins to look REAL tacky in the yard as it dries up. Currently, you can hardly see the raised flower beds. We are going to go out and gather some seed to take to my mom's garden, and cut the rest of it down to clear the beds. We missed the growing season for any other type of veggie this year due to this mess of cilantro weed. If we tried to grow anything now, the heat of summer would surely kill it (or cost us a fortune in water bills).



There was one other thing that grew in the raised beds - I forgot - just one thing: a lone stalk of dill weed. And sadly, I didn't make good use of it before it dried up.



Most of what we've done in the yard this year is enjoy feeding the birds, mulch, weed flower beds, water trees, and mow. It has been great seeing the tiny trees get so big. For instance... these were the purple Vitex trees when we planted them...



They were knee-high!



And then there's the mulberry tree we planted on Arbor Day when the 3yo was about the same age as the 1yo is now. It's huge.



Let's just say that the birds are plenty in our yard. We have a resident mockingbird or two, a family of red house sparrows, a bunch of humming birds, and a slew of other seasonal visitors that enjoy the seed, flowers, berries, and bugs.



My son even picked one and ate it. Don't eat them until they are ripe, though. They have a hallucinogenic affect if you eat too many unripe berries. I haven't ever tried to use any of the ripe berries in recipes. Maybe someday I'll have time for those types of domestic gardening pursuits. I imagined having a yard full of crops to harvest when we started our raised bed project, but the amount of work I have indoors with 4 kids and homeschooling keeps me from all those green thumb ideals.



Sweet berries remind me of my sweet sugar lumps that cry when we make them come inside to take a bath after playing in the yard. Yesterday they enjoyed spraying each other with the water hose until the three year old sprayed the one year old in the face and nearly drowned him. Should have seen that one coming.

We keep our trees green using child labor. Shhhh! They don't know they are working.



There are more important things growing on the inside of our home, though. Tiny hearts, minds, little bodies growing bigger (and hopefully wiser) each day. I love tending that garden the best... so I don't mind so much that there are a few weeds that got away from me outdoors. I'll get around to those later.

If you think in seasons, plant cereals. If you think in decades, plant trees. If you think in centuries, educate your children.  ~Chinese Proverb

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Every Day is Mother’s Day

It isn’t too late to thank a good mother just because the national holiday has come and gone. Moms don’t get a day off – and it seems kind of silly to limit the gratitude to one day per year.

Trust me. I know first hand (times 4) how much encouragement a mom needs all year.

Motherhood is hard. Sticky. Gritty. Taxing. Never-ending. [Sometimes painful.]

It’s also wonderful. Amazing. Beautiful. Fulfilling. Fun.

It’s hard to explain.



A blogging friend of mine decided she wanted to capture the “mess and glory” of motherhood. She gathered the thoughts, experiences, and photographs from many mothers and compiled them in an e-book: Mother Letters.

I'm so humbled to be one of the featured mom photographers in the book! She included my little instagram picture of the "bite after bath time" included in this post. Teething is one of those painful moments for both baby and mama!

I wanted to share about it earlier, but I was in the middle of my “10 Days of Accidental Unschooling”, and then I had a homeschool conference to attend out of town this weekend. I’m planning to download Mother Letters to my iPad. It will be my very first book that I’ve downloaded by myself. You have to learn to live with technology - you can't let your teenagers get too far ahead of you!

Right now, if you hurry, you can buy a copy of the ebook PDF and get a second one for free. The Mother's Day sale ended last night, but I asked Squee! to give me a code for my readers to purchase the book. This week only, you have one additional week to get the Mother's Day BOGO deal (Buy 1, Get 1 Free!). Think of a great mom you know – perhaps a good friend who needs some encouragement.

Enter the code SprittiBOGO at checkout and then you'll both have one to read together! Hurry because the deal is over at midnight on May 22nd!

It’s not too late to bless a good mother with a copy of Mother Letters!




Disclosure: I signed up to be a Mother Letters affiliate, so if you purchase the book through my links, I will get a small commission. Thank you for helping support my blog through my affiliate links!


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Girl Interrupted

It's been a while since I shared a random list. Or reviewed my to-do list. Or ate six chocolate chip cookies. No, wait, I just ate six chocolate chip cookies a minute ago. Now, where did I put that glass of milk?

TO DO THIS WEEK:
bills and checkbook
budget for trip in June / email
contact for lease / pray hard
menu / groceries
thank you card for Pop - who paid for my break job (I heart him.)
plans for the weekend finalized
unpack / laundry
homeschool assignment lists for the week
'heart over mind' - part 10 of "accidental unschooling" series
back up photos
edit bluebonnet pix / review bluebonnet book
draft week's posts for Homeschool Post
music sync on iPhone
plant the rosemary bush
call for permissions {slideshow of photos for church}
bible study started Monday
order photos for frame / upload train picture for sale
kids rooms clean
call realtor
Art class Friday
Boy's Club Tuesday
Find out when Teen Court is... (possibly Monday night)
final export for church directory photos / high-res download Wednesday night at church
finish driver's ed
clean out refrigerator, book cases, and filing cabinets
exercise, drink water, read, and make art - at least twice this week

How's that for a crazy busy list for a woman who lives in a zoo (not a shoe)? It's a wonder I have any hair that isn't grey yet.

And doesn't it bother you that you can spell grey with an A or an E? I mean, what's up with that?!

I just got back from a weekend in Houston with the in-laws, where I tried to watch enough television and take enough naps to last me the rest of the summer. We don't get regular TV, so I stock up on liberal media spin, crime shows, "Auction Hunters", and HGTV while I'm there. The rest of the year, we get streaming Netflix through our Wii (and any other device that will play Netflix) for the kids. Ok, maybe not just for the kids - we also do a family-inclusive, once-a-week movie-night. Those are my favorites because we fix something really EASY for dinner or order pizza.

Last week I was interrupted in the middle of my "Accidental Unschooling" homeschool post series by some actual "Accidental Unschooling"... and some accidents caused by failure to potty train.



#pray4me

He's 3. Diapers cost a fortune. There are two of them, y'all. My checkbook needs a break.



At least there is Red Velvet Cake Blue Bell Ice cream for the interruptions in life that you need rewards for. I'd say cleaning up poop off of the carpet and having your three year old finally get over his fear of the big-boy-potty earns us some ice cream breaks. If we could get out from under the cost of at least one box of diapers every two weeks... well, that would buy a lot of ice cream. Or gasoline, more likely.

The one year old is still a bit young for potty training, so we're not out of the $$woods$$ just yet.



My kids have been doing a lot of interesting things lately. My 13 yo daughter went to camp for her first time this past weekend and managed to come home in one piece. Both of them gave oral presentations at enrichment club and made new friends last Friday. Morgan read her Hunger Games report and answered questions for the group, getting over her fear of speaking in public. Kaden talked about his flip book that he's creating and has been working on editing it so he can have a publisher review it. They both have been drawing a lot. That, and we've been working steadily towards "catching up" in history and math. Mom's lesson plans are slowly getting checked off... in-between our bouts of "unschooling".



In addition to all our busyness, there are a few rather large things looming on the horizon for us... which include a possible move if we are able to sell our house - huge life change, I know... and a possible family trip in June out of state if we are able to get all our ducks in a row.

We hopefully hope but do not hopefully know if our dreams of country living are near or far. Lots of dreaming and scheming in the background is taking place.



Of course, the trip to Colorado - yes, I did say Colorado - is probably more doable than the move to the country right now. Not that we have the money for either... but I'm going to be working with an awesome company that will be sponsoring most of the trip if I can get the travel funds together to make it happen. I'm praying the Lord provides the increase - and that we can set off to the mountains and have another ultimate field trip adventure next month.



I'll be posting about the trip as soon as I can get a realistic budget together.

And as for the "Accidental Unschooling" series? Part 10 of 10 is going up early this week! Watch for it!

In the mean time... go see if you can win a premium copy of one of the best Bible apps in the world - over at the Homeschool Post! I reviewed 23 different educational apps over there this weekend. The give away ends Thursday night at midnight!

Have a super homeschool week - and may you be blessed.

Carnival of Homeschool : Texas Edition

Welcome to the Texas Edition of the Carnival of Homeschooling! If you are new to ‘blog carnivals’, please read the link at the bottom of this post to find out more. This post has many links that take you off-site to other homeschool blogs where you can read their ‘showcased’ article submission. If you would like to submit an article for a future carnival or host the carnival on your site, please see the bottom section to find out how. Each carnival writer has the option to put their compilation to a ‘theme’ if they so choose. So... being a Texas lover, I figured I would share some tidbits about the Lone Star State.


TEXAS HOMESCHOOLING TODAY:

Texas is usually a really friendly place to homeschool. There are field trips to be had all over this beautiful land... and most folks are mighty friendly like - even complimenting you on how great your kids are and how much they seem to know. However, even in the "land of the free", there are a few haters still; some of which are in 'high' offices. It is never good to take your freedoms for granted.

I took a week off from blogging last week and we went to court to support the homeschool mom who lost her kids in a custody battle last week. Yesterday was her last court date (to see if she could get "right of first refusal" - ie: be caregiver when dad was out of town as an airline pilot) until the trial goes to jury in May. A small town judge gave the grandparents the right to raise the kids in the dad's absence because he didn't want the mom to homeschool or be able to move away from where the dad is living - despite the fact that he's out of the country or out of town flying at least half of the month. They even used the fact that her blinds were drawn during the day as evidence that she was an unfit mother. Yeah - like most of us don't try to save energy during the heat of the summer with 100 straight days of 100 degrees last year?

So that's what has been going on in the Texas homeschool homefront recently and it slightly has my blood in a boil if you can't tell. I'm praying for Heather to get her kids back and the jury to reverse the judge's decision to give the dad custody. We'll see what happens in May on this case. Be watching on twitter at #texasjustice and #THSC or checking the Right in Texas blog by Tim Lambert for updates. Better yet - sign up to support justice for homeschoolers in Texas by becoming a paying member of THSC!

Now for the rest of the Carnival...

Below you will find a varied array of interesting tid-bits from all the frontiers on the homeschool blogosphere... kind of like Texas - a melting pot of ideas and peoples with one thing in common - freedom to homeschool our kids as we see fit!

In-between the submissions from other homeschool bloggers, you'll find a bit of Texas bragging. It's only fitting since we Texans love the Lone Star state!



Texas is the 2nd largest U.S. state -- 10% larger than France, and twice as large as either Germany or Japan. There are more than 25 million people living in the Lone Star State. The three biggest cities - in order - are: Houston, San Antonio and Dallas (all three of which make the top 10 largest cities in the United States list). It takes 1/2 of the trip between Houston and the beach in Los Angeles, California just to get to El Paso!

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Homeschooling Unscripted ::: Homeschooing Fantasies

A Net in Time ::: Millipede Fun and Much more

Everything with Carol ::: Interview with a Texas Homesteader



The Lone Star flag is close to every Texan's heart - and most likely to be flown all by itself... or at the same height as the United States flag due to the fact that Texas used to be her own country. Ever hear of the "Six Flags Over Texas"? Well, it isn't just a theme park name! Do you know what 6 countries claimed Texas? Read more about it by clicking the link in this paragraph!

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Homeschool Athiest Momma ::: Swimming in it

Dewey's Treehouse ::: Oh, my poor brainwashed homeschooled kids

Nirvana Homeschooling ::: Building Secondary Cavity Nester Bird Nests: Bluebird, House Wren, Tree Swallow, Carolina Chickadee, House Sparrow



This is a glimpse of the cotton crop growing at Pioneer Farms; a premier field trip location for Austin area homeschool kids.

Texas leads the U.S. in cotton production and annually produces roughly 25% of the country's cotton needs. There are 6 million acres of cotton growing each year on average in Texas. Check out this nifty agriculture PDF to find out more about Texas crops.

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How Do I Homeschool ::: Our Homeschool Day 3/13/2012

Homeschooling in Buffalo ::: Homeschooling for Different Learning Styles

Denschool ::: Uncertainty



As in most states during the Civil War, Texas was split brother against brother. About 25% of Texas land owners did not favor succession, which eventually happened in February of 1861 regardless. In March of 1861, Texas joined the Confederate States of America and the governor, Sam Houston, was replaced for refusing to take an oath of allegiance to the Confederacy.

During the war, Texas was mainly a supply state even though the Federal naval blocked sea ports and captured most of the Mississippi. During reconstruction, General Custer was headquartered at the Liendo Plantation in Hempstead (originally part of a 67,000 acre Spanish land grant). Impressed by the Southern hospitality at Liendo, he made sure the plantation was not harmed. Every year in November near Thanksgiving, a civil war reenactment is hosted there.

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As For My House ::: Papa Dates

Learn at Every Turn ::: My Life as a Homeschooling Mom

Our Curious Home ::: Celebrating a Recorder Breakthrough



Mission Concepcion national park is part of the mission tour of San Antonio, Texas. It is the oldest unrestored stone church in America and still houses the original dome structure, wall and ceiling frescos, and "convento" (priest's residence). The church was finished in 1755 and is still in use. I love a good history field trip, and it was fun to trace the steps of the friars of olde. There are plenty of missions to check out in San Antonio if you ever have time.

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On this Glorious Homeschool Journey ::: God's Painted Canvas

'a la mode de les Muses ::: Novel Homeschoolers: 'When Sparrows Fall'

Tea Time with Annie Kate ::: The Money Saving Mom's Budget Audio Book



Some people think that all there is to Texas is flat ugly plains and big-horned cows. With a state this big, though, we have much more to offer than that. To see the regions of the Friendship state - and to plan an amazing vacation or do the BIGGEST unit study your geography class has ever attempted - stop over at TravelTexas.com! You can order the FREE 2012 Guide Book (think thick, BIG, glossy goodness) and see why Texans say that Texas is "like a whole 'nother country".

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Tolivers to Texas ::: I've Got a River of Life

Homeschool Online ::: Inspiring the Reluctant Learner

Homeschooling Hub ::: Top Ten Reasons to Homeschool Your Children



One of my favorite things about Texas is the variety of wildflowers we have. There's always something in bloom. Want to learn more about these? I gave away some seeds a while back and wrote about our wildflower learning adventures on my blog: "It's Good to Know Your Local Flowers by Name".

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My Domestic Church ::: Saving the Lost Adult Child

Nerd Family ::: Recycle, Reuse and Educate

Why Homeschool ::: Why Would Homeschoolers Need Tight Regulations



The state flower of Texas is the bluebonnet. Pretty, ain't it?

Each year there's a tradition with Texas folk to take their kids and nearly get sideswiped along the freeway as they pile off in to the snaky high grass and weeds to sit down and get pictures in these lovely flowers. Bees or no bees - annual bluebonnet photos are a must-have thing in these parts.

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Barbara Frank Online ::: Why Public Schools are Old School

Homeschool vs Public School ::: How is Your Child Studying History

Holistic Homeschooler ::: 10 Ways to Ensure Homeschool Burnout



Chances are, if you know anything about Texas, you have heard the phrase -- "Remember the Alamo!" That's the battle cry that served to remind Texas soldiers what they were fighting for on April 21st at San Jacinto. The Mexican army was defeated in a mere 18 minutes and the Republic of Texas was born. One of my favorite movies about Texas history is about the battle of the Alamo. And guess what it's called?

Yep... The Alamo

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Cajun joie de vivre! ::: Training Boys to be Gentlemen

My Home Sweet Home ::: Today's Teens Don't Have to Be Social Misfits

Smockity Frocks ::: Online Parenting/Homeschooling Resources



The thing I probably missed the most about Texas when we lived out of state for two years was the MEXICAN food. Around here we call it Tex Mex. Or just "delicious"! One of my very favorite Mexican restaurants is Mi Tierra's in San Antonio. It doubles as a Mexican bakery and has lovely metallic pinatas covering the ceiling of the foyer. The wall murals are wonderful and if you love watching people, you can't beat sitting on the porch to eat your lunch and watch all the Mexican Market shoppers walk by.

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The Homeschool Post ::: How Do You Know They Are Learning?

Bunny Trails ::: Changes and a New Business

I Love My 5 Kids ::: How to Decorate a Birdhouse



The very best thing about Mexican Food, or Tex Mex, or Breakfast even... is the Taco. Warning: The next few posts have nothing to do with homeschooling. BUT, even homeschoolers gotta eat!

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Knit 1 Kids 4 ::: Texas Sheet Cake

A Southern Fairytale ::: Pepperjack Corn Chowder

Gathering Manna ::: The Glorious Taco




Contrary to popular belief, it DOES snow in Texas. The farther South you get, the less it happens. Cactus look real silly in the snow. Just so you know.

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Want to learn more about The Carnival of Homeschooling? Click the links below:

- What is it all about?
- Where can I find it in the future?
- Where do I submit an article for the Carnival of Homeschooling?

If you participate in the carnival, we encourage you to use the carnival button and link back to the Cate’s blog. We honor their diligence at making the Carnival of Homeschooling a great success, and appreciate all of their support to the homeschool community at large.

Happy homeschooling!

Credits: All photos in this post are mine, but the Texas map belongs to Enchanted Learning - a great site for homeschool printables - check them out!

What I'm Never Going to Tell You

Today Sprittibee is bringing you a guest post from a veteran homeschool mom of many, Elizabeth Foss. Check out her bio below her post!

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I heard a story the other day from a mother about my age. She's a faithful, hardworking, dedicated homeschooling mother with a loving, faithful spouse. They've done everything they can to raise their children in the light of Christ. She lives her faith authentically and though she's the first to admit that she fails daily, she has absolutely worked hard to have a Christian plan and to live moment by moment faithful to that plan.

And today, she wants to curl up in a ball and die.

The eldest of her eight children, a beautiful girl who has been carefully raised and loved wholeheartedly, is wearing all black, tattooing her back, piercing her navel and her nose, coloring her hair pink, and engaged to be married to a man who is a professed and angry atheist. She is rejecting her family, their values, and their faith.

Her mother feels like her entire life is a shredded heap of failure. This--the raising of children for God--has been her whole life's calling. When she was young and newly married, she sat in church basements and parish halls and listened to energetic, inspiring mothers a few years older than she tell her all about how to be a virtuous wife and mother. They detailed home-management systems and homeschooling curricula. They talked about raising children of virtue. They promised that if she only listened to God's call and lived her life intentionally, faithful to the precepts of her religion, she would raise holy children. Some even went so far as to promise that Catholic homeschooling would guarantee she'd never be confronted with trials of secular teenaged and young adult culture.

She believed those women. They were well-intentioned, good-hearted and living their own lives in the manner they described.Together, they'd all raise a holy generation for the glory of God.

Now. Now she looks at this child-grown-woman, this first beautiful soul with which she was entrusted, and she is sure of only one thing: she has failed. So sure is she that she doesn't even see the point of pressing on. There are seven other children still at home. Why work so hard--try so hard--if all that lies ahead is the inexplicable decision by those children to walk a path that is clearly not the path she envisioned? She wanted to do nothing more with her life than to return to God the children He entrusted to her and now, her child has chosen to live apart from Him.

Whether in this space or in person, there are some things I'm never going to tell you. The longer I live, the longer the list grows. Please don't misunderstand; most Christian homeschooled children are faithful, well-educated, wholesome kids. They're hardworking and engaging and just exactly the kind of friend you'd want all your children to have. But more than a handful are fully grown on the outside and still a long way from what their parents hoped on the inside. So...

I am never going to tell you that if you mother your children with all your heart, embrace your vocation and dedicate home and family to God, instill in your children strong moral values and carefully protect the seeds of faith that the following things won't ever happen. Because they might. I have seen them happen, either in my own home or in the homes of people I know personally.

::I'm not going to tell you that your child won't go to college and party just as hard as the kids who went to public school and never went to church.

::I'm not going to tell you that one day, your grown son won't scream at you it's all your fault that his life is a miserable mess because you didn't send him to school and furthermore, you never let him eat junk food. And he will mean both with equal passion.

::I'm not going to tell you that your twenty-year-old won't be arrested for being drunk in public.

::I'm not going to tell you that your daughter won't get pregnant her first semester in college.

::I'm not going to tell you that there won't be tattoos and piercings and pink hair.

::I'm not going to tell you that your daughter won't send text messages so laden with profanity that they'd make a sailor blush.

::I'm not going to tell you that homeschooled girls don't post mean status updates to Facebook during youth group. I won't tell you that by homeschooling you will avoid any teenage drama at all.

::I'm not going to tell you that despite all your charts and the careful planning of household chores to instill responsibility and work ethic, your twenty-somethings won't drive cars that smell like old Taco Bell and live in rooms so full of dirty laundry that you can't see the floor.

::I'm not going to tell you that you won't learn your daughter has a secret online identity and that she has been cutting herself.

::I'm not going to tell you that one day you won't find a six pack of beer and a Playboy in the back of your seventeen-year-old's pickup truck.

::I"m not going to tell you that you won't catch your highschoolers looking at very questionable websites when they're supposed to be doing online Latin.

::I'm not going to tell you that your daughter won't enlist in the Navy and not go to Mass once in the first eighteen months she's away from home.

The list could go on. The reality is that homeschooling families are not immune to any of these things, no matter how hard we try and how long we pray.

Only one woman in the history of mankind has raised a perfect child and she would be the first to assure you that it was all by the grace of God.

If my mail is any indication, we need to start talking about the fact that homeschooled kids grow up and sometimes they make poor choices.

Saint Peter walked with Jesus. Jesus was his teacher in the faith. Jesus was the Master Teacher. And still, Peter was a liar, a denier, a weak-willed wimp-- right up until the time that Jesus died. He was taught by God Himself, surely the best teacher of all, and he didn't get it at first.

But in the first few moments of the Acts of the Apostles, after he has been filled with Holy Spirit, he is every bit a man of God. He speaks boldly and eloquently. He is a leader for Christ and that very day, three thousand people are baptized at his invitation.

I think, dear ladies, that some of us will be called to wait in faith for the Second Act (or our own version of Acts 2).

We need to encourage one another to walk this walk of faith, but we need to be very careful that we don't rally around a certain prideful arrogance. Sometimes, in our zeal to hold each other accountable to a Christian life of virtue, we step dangerously close to pridefully suggesting that if we just do prescribed things all the right way, we will turn out brilliant, holy children. And we forget that it is not mothers and fathers who make Christians of children; it is God Himself, in His own time, according to His own plan.

Are we prideful enough to believe that if we just do things a certain way we can overcome free will in our children and raise perfect, sinless saints?

Because we can't.

There are no sinless saints.

An important corollary to this idea is the fact that we must be careful not to assume that it's a flaw in parenting that has resulted in a child's decision to live outside the life of faith. Children--even carefully raised children--grow into adults with free will. Every choice a child makes is not a reflection of his parents. It's reflection of that child's own relationship with his Creator.

God isn't finished yet.

Where does that leave us in our mission as parents? What hope do we have?

We can only labor together towards heaven. We can homeschool because we believe that, in the words of Willa Ryan, quoted in Real Learning, " [we]want our family to meet in heaven someday, and [we] think we have a better shot at it if we journey together as much as possible. God put us together for a reason." We can build a strong family culture. We can walk together, just as Jesus walked and worked with Peter, every day, day in and day out, endeavoring to be Christ to one another, sure that we have free will, but we can have grace, too. We can be confident that they will leave home and that they will all make poor choices and some of them will make very poor choices. However, we can cling to the truth that as we wait for God to work in the hearts of these children in whom we've invested so much, it is we who can rely on the grace of all those years of doing.

It is we who soak up the encouragement of the noble, true, right and lovely things we taught them and cling to the faith that the seeds were planted and one day the fruit of potential we know is growing will ripen on this tree we tended lovingly when it was just a vulnerable sapling. We can reflect on the years in our homes and know that that those children--despite their poor choices in the moment--do know who Christ really is. They have walked with Him in the lives of their families. They just don't really think they need Him right now. But soon enough, I think, they will.

And, in the waiting, Mama need not curl up in a ball and feel like a failure. Instead, she can reflect on what those years of careful tending have taught her, on how they've watered her own soul.It's not all about the kids; it's about our journey to God, too. His car might smell like Taco Bell after 24 hours in the Texas sun, but her home reflects an order and an appreciation for beauty that has grown in her soul over the years of her own growing up--the years she has spent as mama and wife. All those days of carrying heavy babies and cranky toddlers to church to be in the presence of our Lord, all those long nights rocking and praying, all those mornings wrestling with commas and apostrophes, all those hours laboring to bring life into the world--they are not for naught. They are the many moments of grace that strengthen us for the pain of the thrice-spoken denial and sustain us in hope for the coming of the Holy Spirit.

So I don't leave you with promises that all will rosy if you just work hard enough at it. I only leave you with the promise of His grace in the hard moments, the moments that you are sure you've failed at the one thing you've worked hardest at your whole life. I leave you this morning with words of hope for mothers in anguish:

Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously and ungrudgingly, and he will be given it.

James 1:2-5

****************************

This post was originally posted by Elizabeth Foss, November 4, 2011, on her blog In the Heart of my Home. Elizabeth Foss is a cancer survivor who lives every day grateful for the gift of life. She is very happily married to Mike Foss and mama to nine children from 3-23. She finds the charm, the wonder, and the cacophony of big family imperfection to be great inspiration as she strives to meet the challenges of daily life with creativity and grace.

An Early Driver's Ed Class

Raise your hand if you have ever violated a traffic law.

Oh, come on. Be honest.

You know you did a Texas pause at a stop sign in your neighborhood once or twice.

How about a speeding ticket? I bet you have had at least one in your life, right?


These things have been on my mind a lot because in just a few weeks my big kid is turning FIFTEEN - and sooner than later he'll be taking driver's ed and learning to navigate the Texas highways.

He's paying attention to the roads these days. I'm pointing out landmarks and street names to make sure he can find his way home if he gets lost. We're going over maps to help him gain direction.

I had no idea that I was going to be giving him a REAL LIFE driving lesson yesterday. I got to be the bad example and the good example, all at once.



Here's what happened:

We had two appointments at our orthodontist scheduled - for both of my teenagers. That means tight teeth and misery, so I usually make the day a little sweeter by offering to include a meal out. They decided on Chicken Minis from Chick-Fil-A.

All that would have been fine, but mama had a hard night with the nursing baby and lost about 2 hours of beauty rest... so we got out of bed with only 30 minutes to spare before we had to leave. Chick-Fil-A was not going to happen unless we skipped showers and didn't fret over jackets and hairstyles.

After our harried rush to the door with all four kids and a diaper bag, I had my daughter call Chick-Fil-A and order our meal so it would be ready when we got there.

[I bet you didn't know you could pre-order fast food to make it faster, didya?]

I was driving along and keeping an eye out for the cranky toddler and baby in the visor mirror because they were poking and hitting each other. Nothing like a whining, screaming two year old in the morning to set your nerves on edge.



[He looks happy in that photo, sure... but don't let that fool you.]

The road was almost empty except for a few cars that passed me up because I wasn't speeding. I didn't even notice the light at the edge of town turning red and drove right through it at about 60 miles per hour. No one was in front, beside or behind me that I could see, so I had no idea I had run a red light until I whizzed through and saw a car in my peripheral vision rolling towards me on the left. I suppose the visor was to blame for me not seeing the color of the light changing.

Thankfully, there wasn't any chance of me hitting the person because they had just started to roll forward and weren't far in to the intersection yet. I kept on going because there was really no reason for me to stop. The other driver only had to break - even though my son said he caught a glimpse of his face when we passed and he was not happy at being inconvenienced.

I was a ways down the road when this same man came ZOOMING past me on my right (he had to be going well over 80 to catch me at that speed so quickly) and SWERVED in front of my vehicle, coming precariously close to my front bumper. Then he slowed down and put his breaks on.

[Can anyone say "road rage"?]

I wasn't going to bite. Instead of getting irate like I suspect he was hoping, I slowed and moved to the right to get out from behind him. I am guessing he expected me to try and get in front of him, so he swerved over in to my lane again and slowed further. The speed limit was 65 and I was down to 50 or so.

Realizing that he wasn't going to let me be, I put the safety of the FOUR children in my car first and slowed to give more bumper space. Even though he was being a jerk, I stayed behind him another seven minutes in to town while he continued to change speeds to irritate me.

Right before I was about to turn right in to the shopping center to get our breakfast, he pulled three lanes over to the left to make a left turn and slowed to make it obvious that he and his wife were looking in to our car. Unable to punish me with road rage, the guy CALLED THE POLICE and reported my red light infraction.



Thinking my run-in with a crazed driver was over, I went about my business and took the kids to eat, see their orthodontist and to piddle around in town for a bit. We had just finished our cheeseburgers at the table when the doorbell rang.

"Is this your vehicle in the driveway, mam?" The officer asked.

Mr. Road Rage had made me sound like a hit and run driver by telling the police I came "this close to T-boning him" (insert exaggeratedly small pincher fingers here). Hardly.


"The guy nearly clipped my mom's headlight off after he sped past us." Kaden told him.

After my fifteen year old and I both shared the same story about our scary stalker, he took my driver's license, went back to his car, and wrote up a report.

He came back to the door and informed me that although he had told the man I had not tried to deny the fact that I ran a red light, he was unwilling to back down on insisting that I get a ticket for it. He told the man that if I wanted, I could report him for reckless driving and he would get a ticket, too.

The guy said he wanted me to get a ticket and didn’t care if I said he was changing lanes unsafely because I was a liar.

"You know, we rarely get anything like this." The officer said, sighing. He said he would be on his way over to the guy's house to write him a ticket after he left. I wasn't sure that really made me feel better.

So there you have it. Hand-delivered, door-to-door tickets and the end of nearly a decade's worth of a perfect driving record - all for the careful scrutiny of my teenagers, I suppose. There's a reason for everything.

Here's the positive I'm taking away from this experience... (I'm serious about counting blessings):

1. We could have been in an accident, and thankfully - praise be to God - we weren't. It would be a lot different if some or all of us weren't here any more because of my accidental red light mishap or if I had tried to engage in this man's road rage.

2. My kids saw me stay cool when someone on the road was clearly out of line and hostile. I hope that they would do the same if the wheel had been in their hands.

3. My kids saw me tell the truth to a police officer - and we even discussed that I would rather tell the truth than get off without a ticket. I told them that I know I have run a few red lights here and there and it is only fair that I pay a ticket if I really ran a red light. I want them to take responsibility for their actions - even when it costs them something.

4. My children will be learning about the process involved with getting a ticket, responding in a timely manner, going to court, and doing what needs to be done to clear your driving record if need be. Maybe I'll even let my son take defensive driving online with me for a preparation of what is to come. It couldn't hurt.

I guess we can look forward to an extra courthouse field trip this year (or two - depending on how Mr. Grumpy Pants responds to HIS ticket). Not necessarily something I would have EVER put on the lesson planner, but a valuable set of lessons, none-the-less.

 

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