What I'm Never Going to Tell You

Today Sprittibee is bringing you a guest post from a veteran homeschool mom of many, Elizabeth Foss. Check out her bio below her post!

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I heard a story the other day from a mother about my age. She's a faithful, hardworking, dedicated homeschooling mother with a loving, faithful spouse. They've done everything they can to raise their children in the light of Christ. She lives her faith authentically and though she's the first to admit that she fails daily, she has absolutely worked hard to have a Christian plan and to live moment by moment faithful to that plan.

And today, she wants to curl up in a ball and die.

The eldest of her eight children, a beautiful girl who has been carefully raised and loved wholeheartedly, is wearing all black, tattooing her back, piercing her navel and her nose, coloring her hair pink, and engaged to be married to a man who is a professed and angry atheist. She is rejecting her family, their values, and their faith.

Her mother feels like her entire life is a shredded heap of failure. This--the raising of children for God--has been her whole life's calling. When she was young and newly married, she sat in church basements and parish halls and listened to energetic, inspiring mothers a few years older than she tell her all about how to be a virtuous wife and mother. They detailed home-management systems and homeschooling curricula. They talked about raising children of virtue. They promised that if she only listened to God's call and lived her life intentionally, faithful to the precepts of her religion, she would raise holy children. Some even went so far as to promise that Catholic homeschooling would guarantee she'd never be confronted with trials of secular teenaged and young adult culture.

She believed those women. They were well-intentioned, good-hearted and living their own lives in the manner they described.Together, they'd all raise a holy generation for the glory of God.

Now. Now she looks at this child-grown-woman, this first beautiful soul with which she was entrusted, and she is sure of only one thing: she has failed. So sure is she that she doesn't even see the point of pressing on. There are seven other children still at home. Why work so hard--try so hard--if all that lies ahead is the inexplicable decision by those children to walk a path that is clearly not the path she envisioned? She wanted to do nothing more with her life than to return to God the children He entrusted to her and now, her child has chosen to live apart from Him.

Whether in this space or in person, there are some things I'm never going to tell you. The longer I live, the longer the list grows. Please don't misunderstand; most Christian homeschooled children are faithful, well-educated, wholesome kids. They're hardworking and engaging and just exactly the kind of friend you'd want all your children to have. But more than a handful are fully grown on the outside and still a long way from what their parents hoped on the inside. So...

I am never going to tell you that if you mother your children with all your heart, embrace your vocation and dedicate home and family to God, instill in your children strong moral values and carefully protect the seeds of faith that the following things won't ever happen. Because they might. I have seen them happen, either in my own home or in the homes of people I know personally.

::I'm not going to tell you that your child won't go to college and party just as hard as the kids who went to public school and never went to church.

::I'm not going to tell you that one day, your grown son won't scream at you it's all your fault that his life is a miserable mess because you didn't send him to school and furthermore, you never let him eat junk food. And he will mean both with equal passion.

::I'm not going to tell you that your twenty-year-old won't be arrested for being drunk in public.

::I'm not going to tell you that your daughter won't get pregnant her first semester in college.

::I'm not going to tell you that there won't be tattoos and piercings and pink hair.

::I'm not going to tell you that your daughter won't send text messages so laden with profanity that they'd make a sailor blush.

::I'm not going to tell you that homeschooled girls don't post mean status updates to Facebook during youth group. I won't tell you that by homeschooling you will avoid any teenage drama at all.

::I'm not going to tell you that despite all your charts and the careful planning of household chores to instill responsibility and work ethic, your twenty-somethings won't drive cars that smell like old Taco Bell and live in rooms so full of dirty laundry that you can't see the floor.

::I'm not going to tell you that you won't learn your daughter has a secret online identity and that she has been cutting herself.

::I'm not going to tell you that one day you won't find a six pack of beer and a Playboy in the back of your seventeen-year-old's pickup truck.

::I"m not going to tell you that you won't catch your highschoolers looking at very questionable websites when they're supposed to be doing online Latin.

::I'm not going to tell you that your daughter won't enlist in the Navy and not go to Mass once in the first eighteen months she's away from home.

The list could go on. The reality is that homeschooling families are not immune to any of these things, no matter how hard we try and how long we pray.

Only one woman in the history of mankind has raised a perfect child and she would be the first to assure you that it was all by the grace of God.

If my mail is any indication, we need to start talking about the fact that homeschooled kids grow up and sometimes they make poor choices.

Saint Peter walked with Jesus. Jesus was his teacher in the faith. Jesus was the Master Teacher. And still, Peter was a liar, a denier, a weak-willed wimp-- right up until the time that Jesus died. He was taught by God Himself, surely the best teacher of all, and he didn't get it at first.

But in the first few moments of the Acts of the Apostles, after he has been filled with Holy Spirit, he is every bit a man of God. He speaks boldly and eloquently. He is a leader for Christ and that very day, three thousand people are baptized at his invitation.

I think, dear ladies, that some of us will be called to wait in faith for the Second Act (or our own version of Acts 2).

We need to encourage one another to walk this walk of faith, but we need to be very careful that we don't rally around a certain prideful arrogance. Sometimes, in our zeal to hold each other accountable to a Christian life of virtue, we step dangerously close to pridefully suggesting that if we just do prescribed things all the right way, we will turn out brilliant, holy children. And we forget that it is not mothers and fathers who make Christians of children; it is God Himself, in His own time, according to His own plan.

Are we prideful enough to believe that if we just do things a certain way we can overcome free will in our children and raise perfect, sinless saints?

Because we can't.

There are no sinless saints.

An important corollary to this idea is the fact that we must be careful not to assume that it's a flaw in parenting that has resulted in a child's decision to live outside the life of faith. Children--even carefully raised children--grow into adults with free will. Every choice a child makes is not a reflection of his parents. It's reflection of that child's own relationship with his Creator.

God isn't finished yet.

Where does that leave us in our mission as parents? What hope do we have?

We can only labor together towards heaven. We can homeschool because we believe that, in the words of Willa Ryan, quoted in Real Learning, " [we]want our family to meet in heaven someday, and [we] think we have a better shot at it if we journey together as much as possible. God put us together for a reason." We can build a strong family culture. We can walk together, just as Jesus walked and worked with Peter, every day, day in and day out, endeavoring to be Christ to one another, sure that we have free will, but we can have grace, too. We can be confident that they will leave home and that they will all make poor choices and some of them will make very poor choices. However, we can cling to the truth that as we wait for God to work in the hearts of these children in whom we've invested so much, it is we who can rely on the grace of all those years of doing.

It is we who soak up the encouragement of the noble, true, right and lovely things we taught them and cling to the faith that the seeds were planted and one day the fruit of potential we know is growing will ripen on this tree we tended lovingly when it was just a vulnerable sapling. We can reflect on the years in our homes and know that that those children--despite their poor choices in the moment--do know who Christ really is. They have walked with Him in the lives of their families. They just don't really think they need Him right now. But soon enough, I think, they will.

And, in the waiting, Mama need not curl up in a ball and feel like a failure. Instead, she can reflect on what those years of careful tending have taught her, on how they've watered her own soul.It's not all about the kids; it's about our journey to God, too. His car might smell like Taco Bell after 24 hours in the Texas sun, but her home reflects an order and an appreciation for beauty that has grown in her soul over the years of her own growing up--the years she has spent as mama and wife. All those days of carrying heavy babies and cranky toddlers to church to be in the presence of our Lord, all those long nights rocking and praying, all those mornings wrestling with commas and apostrophes, all those hours laboring to bring life into the world--they are not for naught. They are the many moments of grace that strengthen us for the pain of the thrice-spoken denial and sustain us in hope for the coming of the Holy Spirit.

So I don't leave you with promises that all will rosy if you just work hard enough at it. I only leave you with the promise of His grace in the hard moments, the moments that you are sure you've failed at the one thing you've worked hardest at your whole life. I leave you this morning with words of hope for mothers in anguish:

Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously and ungrudgingly, and he will be given it.

James 1:2-5

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This post was originally posted by Elizabeth Foss, November 4, 2011, on her blog In the Heart of my Home. Elizabeth Foss is a cancer survivor who lives every day grateful for the gift of life. She is very happily married to Mike Foss and mama to nine children from 3-23. She finds the charm, the wonder, and the cacophony of big family imperfection to be great inspiration as she strives to meet the challenges of daily life with creativity and grace.

Remind Yourself What the List and Lesson Plan Don't Know

::low-tech lesson planning::

I snuck out of bed early today so I could squeeze in a blog post. I snuck out of the warm covers and left behind two snuggly little boys, a protesting long-haired kitty-cat, and the soft glow of a baby monitor.

Daddy, who is always just a little too noisy in the morning, was downstairs trying to enjoy his coffee at 5:15am. "I'm going to be late. I have to take it on the road today."

I handed him his travel mug and noted how the dishes hadn't been done by my hopeful twelve year old that promised she would do them at 4:30am (and set her alarm) if I would just let her draw for an hour last night after the babies went to bed... in peace.

I used the already dirty pan that daddy used to cook his eggs to make mine. And two slices of bacon. Both at the same time. We take as many short cuts as we can around here.

I ate in silence, making a mental note of all the things that must be accomplished today. A gentle nudge from the Spirit reminded me that I should pray for my meal; the first reminder of the day to be present in this moment and not stuck in list mode.

I thanked him for bacon... eggs... milk... prayed that our day would be better today. Less fighting, less struggle, less difficulty. Let us do better. Give us success.

Many years of catching the bus, going to school, fighting the traffic, punching the clock... and I still struggle with laying down the list and choosing to enjoy life when there are items left unchecked.

Yesterday before bed I noticed that both of my kids were doing something "educational". One was drawing (even though art was not on her assignment sheet for the day), and the other one was watching a movie about sea creatures (even though he had already finished his assigned science reading). I pondered over how strange it is that I am unwilling to call it school if it doesn't look like my institutionalized upbringing - straight back children in neat rows with hands raised high for attention. Even in my own "classroom" of two, I have a hard time acknowledging out-of-the-box checks on our syllabus. It is so hard to recognize true learning as it takes place - this thing we call life - because it is such a natural phenomenon.

At lunch yesterday there was a quiz. My nearly fifteen year old thought he had me stumped. "What are dermal denticles?"

I drew on my vague understanding of Latin, and my greater knowledge of his interests - which are all things scientific and found in nature. "Well, derma - skin? And denti - teeth?"

"Yeah, but on what?" He smiled, knowing I was caught.

"I give up."

He proceeded to tell me the story of a shark's "skin" - which is not scales, but tiny linked teeth that provide a body armor, reduce drag and turbulence, and help him hunt quietly.

Who knows when he learned this about sharks, but I wasn't the one who taught it to him. It didn't go on any lesson plan. There were no check marks, no grades, no records made.

It was simply a boy with an interest - feeding his mind full of the wonder of God's creation. And it stuck. It gave him interesting small talk at lunch and he marveled at how cool God was to design such amazing creatures.

I can't take credit for that, folks. I might have scoffed at unschooling in the past, but sometimes I wonder if God made me in to an unschooler just to humble my little classroom-teacher-style heart.

Sometimes I have people ask me how in the world I "get it all done" with babies in the house. I don't. Sometimes they ask me how in the world I have the patience to homeschool. I don't. I'm just as frazzled and tired and impatient as the lot of them.

::caught reading the dictionary::

However, even I, the one who is chained to her to-do list, can see the miracle in a year's worth of unscripted learning turning in to passed tests that we did not study for. I can see the beauty in my kids being passionate about their God-given interests. I can SEE them... every day... watch them unfold like roses. Here today, growing, blooming... I can't imagine sending that bouquet away to someone else's table.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.  ~Mark Twain

So I'll keep adding the little miracle "assignments" to my school list each day so my conformist mind can rise above the urge to think we "didn't get much done": discussion about shark skin, educational movie about ocean creatures, research and practice Manga drawing styles, lettering difficult piano music and practicing, baking chocolate chip cookies without help...

I'm so proud of them. I couldn't keep them from learning if I tried.




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Peace Be With You: My 2012 Homeschool Mom Reflections

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!” - Isaiah 52:7

I have been stressing out for a week or more about trying to find time to figure out what my "WORD" for 2012 was, much less sit down and write about it. I have been burried in two weeks worth of laundry, piles of papers on my desk, my to-do list that I have been slowly consolidating from the many scraps of papers it had multiplied to... and it seemed with all of our holiday hustle and traveling about, I would NEVER have time to THINK.

I might have mentioned it in a brief prayer - one of those, "Oh, yeah - God, I need a word for 2012. Now can you please help me not go crazy in this moment." No bother with an Amen, because someone was sticking their fingers in a dirty diaper that was left on the floor... or flinging their toys in the toilet... or accidentally peeing on the bathroom rug before they stepped in the bath. I say a lot of unfinished prayers around here... and that's ok. I've heard them called "prayer sandwiches" - because everything you do is sandwiched in between two prayers. I sure hope so.

Today, God answered my heart. My flippant and quick wishes for a word were given consideration by the King. He showed me he's thinking much more about me than I am about Him.

Last night I was cleaning off my desk and I picked up a broken ornament that had three silver hearts – one said Jesus, one said Hope, the other said Peace. I was kind of leaning towards hope because I’ve felt like a failure lately with all my piled up duties. In fact, I just told all of Twitter last night that I was already behind and it "wasn't even 2012" yet. But I do have hope, always. I do persevere. I “do the next thing”.

One thing I DON’T do is stop KICKING myself. Last year was about finding joy in the journey. I suppose I had more joy last year just because I stopped to THINK about it more. A new baby, while deliciously sweet is yet another person to fit in the schedule and the schematics... and a quadzupling of our laundry quota. Counting blessings is magic, though... so, "Thank You" to Ann Voskamp for my new obsession with listing my gifts.

Lost in thought, I turned over the two tiny hearts and smoothed my finger across their scrolling inscriptions: Hope and Peace… I wasn’t sure which word was standing out. Or maybe they weren't my words at all. I got back to sorting papers and didn't give it another thought.

Today after church, I picked up my task again. Piles and piles. Bills, magazines, coupons, homeschoolishness, blogging inspiration, scrapbook and prayer journal bits to remember, correspondence, to-do list sticky notes... paper after paper needing a place to rest. In this never-ending stack was a Beth Moore Bible Study workbook for “Jesus the One and Only” which I didn't finish (that I’ve had on my to-do list since, ummm... 2004). I thought – hey, maybe I should do this with the kids as our Bible this year - since they are old enough, and there's no use in finishing it now that I have probably forgotten everything in it anyway.

I remembered recently telling a friend of mine that I was willing to host and lead a bible study at my house because doing it at home would help me not have to get the babies out and about (and give me the comforts and safety of home to do my study in: baby gates, snacks, and toys). Leading a study would make me more accountable to get the reading and preparing done, too.

I mulled this over and stared at the dusty workbook in my hands. On the cover of this book is a picture of a dove descending on Jesus. My eyes hung on the image.

Doves are a symbol of peace. Hmmm... Jesus, Hope, Peace...

At church today, my daughter picked up a handful of Christmas cards from our church mailbox in the foyer. I had added them to the pile on the table I was sorting through. I had a stack of them to open: late Christmas cards, belated birthday cards for my husband and I, and a couple of anniversary cards that were early. The first card I opened was puffy – so I knew there was something else in it besides just a card.



It was wrapped in tissue; a crystal window ornament – with two doves and an olive branch. It caught the sunlight and spun on my finger.

:::CHILLS:::

I can’t explain it, but it almost made me cry when I looked at it. Someone at church who barely knows me gave me this symbol – this ornament for my window – a light catcher… and had NO IDEA that it would be sending a message to me about what I needed to REST IN this year: God’s peace.

There was no inscription in the card other than a name... but the card said, "Wishing you peace and joy throughout the season and the new year."

I felt it in my spirit all at once that God was telling me that He is in control, that my life and all the mundane details that carry me like a tidal wave through each day… the diapers, the dishes, the division… that all of it is part of his beautiful plan for my life – and that I’m NOT behind. I’m in HIS PALM.

Peace in the midst of my chaos.

I can hardly type it without tears. What an overwhelming feeling to know that the creator of the universe cares about a housewife’s burdens. That He knows my fears and wants me to rest in Him.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13

And again, I say AMEN!

Happy and PEACEFUL 2012 to you and yours.

May you find a double measure of His Peace that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7) waiting for you this year. #SELAH

In His Grip:





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A Quick December Devotional

1. Heavy cloud. No rain. ~ Sting #austin #pray4rain #Texas, 2. Painting in Orthodontist office - love the colors., 3. It feels like it has not rained in cat-years. #texas #austin #rain, 4. Just out of reach. #austin #sunset, 5. Oldest/Youngest #incourage, 6. Marshie n Me #incourage #love, 7. Procrastinator Planner for my niece and me. #incourage, 8. Three generations of cotton tops. #incourage, 9. Book buying feet., 10. on the Laptop #incourage, 11. Carrot Cake with home made orange cream cheese icing for grandma (who is NOT 30) #incourage, 12. The Lunch Room Gang #incourage #love, 13. What Fire Leaves Behind #TXfire #Texas #hwy29 #hillcountry, 14. Jason's Deli Club Salad #love #incourage, 15. Rain!!! #incourage #love #texas

What??? It's December Already? I stopped by at the Post and the December desktop wallpaper just went up!

Seems like every time I blink, another month has gone by.

We have been absorbed by homeschool, conferences, orthodontist and oral surgery visits, illness, projects, and just plain LIFE. While we were busy, somehow the Christmas holidays seemed to sneak up on my calendar and are now precariously close.

How about a quick trip down memory lane with some iPhone pictures? I can't seem to find the time to get the big camera out.

Note how big the baby is getting... the sweet photo of Marshie and me at her house when she stopped in to visit the states... and notice the drought and rain depicted in the pictures. It has been the worst drought in Texas history this past year, and every drop of precious rain gives call for a celebration. It has not been uncommon to see signs on fences with a plea for Texans to pray for rain. The farmers and ranchers here have had to sell livestock, struggle for feed and hay, and are suffering great losses.

I know how it feels to go through a dry spell. I've been in one - a general one that spans all sorts of different aspects of my life. It hasn't been pretty. It hasn't been fun. The physical, Texas drought has been like a reminder that I need to be praying for rain. For physical rain, yes - but for spiritual rain, too. Not only praying for rain, but trusting that He will bring times of refreshing.

I've heard it said that a Christian should pray for rain and then carry an umbrella. Expect results. PUSH: pray until something happens.

I believe it. I don't mind that my prayer journal sounds much like a broken record. I'm counting on God to either change my circumstance or change me. Or give me the stamina to keep trusting, keep doing good - NOT GROW WEARY.

And every now and then, there's a little 'gulley washer' - one of those ten minute storms; a glimmer of what it feels like to have prayers answered. Beads of sweet, glittering water on the windshield - streaming like arms lifted to the sky. I'm so thankful for the reminder of what the rain feels like.

Texas and I are drinking it in. Waiting on Him for more.

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• A Hobby for Heather
• Oh, HAI; I'm Heather

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Faith, Hope & Love Give Away by (In)Courage

Remember that conference thing I did last year in fabulous (and chilly) Pennsylvania? Yes - the Relevant one. Well, it's happening AGAIN... and I think I might have mentioned to you that the people who made it all possible for me to go are listed in my sidebar ---> over there...

One of those people - well, peoples - is DAYSPRING's (In)Courage. Have you heard of them? They are only one of the most amazing and uplifting Christian women's blogs around. I heart their devotionals and adore their authors (even though I'm not quite cool enough to be one - probably not organized enough to be one, either -- seeing as how this give-away I'm about to introduce is LATE). Sorry, Lisa-Jo!

(in)courage and DaySpring are sponsoring giveaways on all the Relevant conference sponsored blogs leading up to the Relevant conference! That means me and the other 7 winners of their sponsorship tickets. I'm the photography winner... and am so thrilled that I get to go see my blog sisters in RL this week. My plane leaves town in two days! [and i'm not packed!!!]

Before I head out on a jet plane, I'd like to thank you - my readers (all twenty of you - shhh, don't tell Dayspring) and deck your walls with this FREE canvas wall art set:




Aren't these so cute? They would look fantastic right in the middle of my new chocolate brown dining room wall between the white book cases we use for homeschooling. And they say (those who are decoratively inclined like the Nester), that you should group things in threes... and well, there are THREE of them. Faith, Hope and LOVE -- a great reminder of some very important things that every family needs for great (In)RL relationships to flourish.

Have you heard of (in)RL?  The amazing (in)courage folks have created a way to get us all out from behind the screen and in real life, face-to-face meetings on April 27-28, 2012!  You can host an (in)RL meet up or find one in your hometown. Click here to register!

To Enter:

• Leave a comment about something you find (In)Couraging. [I could use a little encouraging right now after our whole family was sick last week and mama's still got lingering sinus pressure and a little bit of a cough.]

Extra Entries [leave a comment for each of the below to have them count for one entry - 9 total]:

• Follow @DaySpringCards or @incourage on Twitter
• Like DaySpringFans or incourage on Facebook
• Register for {in}RL – to host or attend.
• Follow Sprittibee on Google Connect, @sprittibee on Twitter, or share this post on Facebook.
• Add this post to your Pinterest account and pin this lovely Dayspring canvas trio
• Tweet this post!

I'll pick a random (NON-Relevant attendee) winner on Monday, October 31st!

Here are the other giveaways going on now:  Kristen’s giveaway, Jennifer’s giveaway, Mandy’s giveaway, Michelle’s giveway, Mary’s giveaway, Myra's giveaway, and Cara’s giveaway!

Dayspring is giving away a lot of awesome prizes on each of these blogs this week -- be sure to visit each of them! If you can't come to hang out with us in RL at Relevant, at least you could get some awesome "swag".

The Blessing of a Strong Will

The absolute fact is, a strong-willed child is exactly what we should want. Strong enough to fend off peer pressure. Strong enough to set good goals and work toward accomplishment. Strong enough to put off current, brief pleasures for better, long-lasting rewards. - Bette Dowdell

Do you remember back in your teenage days? I do. I was one of those kids that tested all the limits. Actually, I didn't just test them. I pushed past them like a record breaking Olympic runner through the finish-line ribbon... leaving them all in the dust with everyone's mouth hanging open.

I was a rule breaker. A grey hair maker. The one you don't bring home to mama.

And God took the wild in me and bridled it gently with His grace and forgiveness. He covered all the ugly with His selfless love. Because believe me, there's a lot of ugly left over when you buck and bruise yourself and others. A lot of wounds needing healing. A lot of stories that are better left untold.

Part of me was hoping that homeschooling was going to keep the teen troubles away. I guess that's a little naive to think you can go from sweet little baby to capable adult without the slightest battle of wills. Anyone who has ever fought with a toddler about leaving the train table at Barnes & Nobles knows that there's bound to be a few tears and tantrums - no matter how good of a parent you are.

Jesus said that the one who had committed the worst sin was often the one who loved God the most - because they knew the price of His forgiveness in a deeper way. This concept was something he talked about with the racy woman who poured perfume on his feet. He implies in the verses about the sinful woman who anoints his feet with oil that the one who loves Him more is the one who has the largest amount of sin forgiven them (Luke 7:43).

"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little." ~ Luke 7:47

I know that God loves my children more than I do. I was that woman. I pray that they don't have to learn the power of forgiveness through the greatest sin, but whatever the path laid out before them, I pray that they DO come to know the power of forgiveness and salvation. Whatever it takes and where-ever it leads them. May I never step in-between God's discipleship to prevent them from learning His truth for their life.

We all want our children to become exceptional adults... to fly like eagles. The tricky part of parenting is learning how to let go as they begin to test the air under their new-found wings.

Lord, help me to cheer them on from the edge of the nest and allow you to guide them on the breeze. Show me when and how to lead, because heaven knows I want them following YOU and not me.



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Remembering 9/11 in Art

2 Chronicles 7:14 - "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

Originally, I posted the artwork my son drew of the twin towers in 2006.

It has been FIVE years since then. That's a long time in blog land. I figure a lot of you haven't seen them.

Kaden is 14 now. He was just a little tyke when 9/11 happened... it was the week that we started homeschooling. I still remember brushing aside the teacher planner, crayons and stickers and telling the kids they could play in Pawpaw's game room upstairs while mommy watched the news with Nana and Pawpaw downstairs. I glued myself to the TV, sobbing at the pictures of grown men leaping from skyscraper windows. The whole nation cried together, prayed together - hearts breaking together as one.

People didn't ever come home that day. People that were someone's daddy, someone's mama, someone's child.

I wanted to share my son's pictures today again... and to tell all those who are still hurting because this tragedy was not just an event to them, but reality in their own family... that I'm praying for them - we are, as a family - praying for them.

The only thing I have changed on these images is marking out my son's last name on the first drawing. He drew these without any instruction from me that day - from the scant news that he was able to understand and images he was able to see while not ushered away to a toy room with his sister. He came downstairs to show me these two pictures after he drew them and I was amazed.

Kids are so intuitive and wonderful. You never realize just how MUCH they understand. I didn't think he was really paying that close of attention. I know we all seemed upset that day (the grown-ups in his life). I know he saw me cry. They know more than we think they do about what is going on around them. They are listening to us and watching us.

May God watch over all of us as we seek to walk in Him. May He protect and return our troops to their families. May He gather the lost and comfort the sick and hurting... and may He heal our land and all the hearts within it that need healing.





Below is a close-up of the words I wrote on the top of his crayon drawing after talking with him about it:


Quick Links:Blog Her entry spotlighting this post in 2006 by Karen Rani

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Oh, HAI. I'm HEATHER.

Hi, my name is Heather and I have a blog conference addiction. I also have a blog addiction. And a photography addiction. And a baby addiction. I'm pretty OCD all around, actually...

God worked it out again that I could attend the Relevant conference in 2011. I thought there would be no way to top last year (since I not only went, but Chevy leased me a vehicle and my entire family got to travel with me all the way from Austin to PA - with a stop over for a few days in DC so the homeschool kids could "field trip"). [Relevant 2010 was awesome, by the way.] There's no way to top that, right? That's what I thought. God had other plans.


I entered the (In)Courage sponsorship contest after all the tickets were sold out and they picked me to be their Dayspring photographer!!! I had a ticket, and no idea how I was going to get there. God wasn't finished showing off. He brought me Maggie. She and Bright Ideas Press offered to help me get airline tickets to attend the conference! So all that to say - I'm only hotel funds and food expenses away from meeting my Relevant 2011 sponsorship goals and I haven't even started praying hard about it.

I take that as a "God wants you there" kind of miracle. Have no idea what He has up His sleeve, but I know it will be GOOD.



So here I am, introducing myself to a bunch of invisible blogging friends that I either have met yet - or maybe not... some old, some new - but all SISTERS in this craft and in Christ. I can't wait to give you an IRL hug when we meet up in Harrisburg. I'll be the girl that can't put her camera down... the one who is chasing her tail trying to keep a nursing baby happy, her tweenage daughter fed with snacks, and her heart from bursting with joy at being able to be around her online friends AND take photos at the same time.




About me....

I love my kids:  a teen, a tween, a toddler and a tiny 7 month old teething baby.

I'm a crazy homeschool mama.

I've been known to say "If I can homeschool, ANYONE can." That's just flowery language for my secret blog tagline, which is: "I suck at homeschooling so you don't have to."

I live in Texas.

I blog about everything under the sun. From a homeschool mom's perspective, of course. Which is a very eclectic viewpoint; almost as eclectic as my curriculum. But not quite.

I ponder deep things while juggling the domestic.

I make lists... and can't stop organizing things. Which doesn't mean I have it together.

I'm the queen of long road trips.

My goal is to try and live in the moment... and to find joy in it.

I come from a long line of black sheep.

I steal french fries.

Sometimes my blog is blank.

I love my iPhone.

I cook gourmet meals (when I feel like it).

I take peekshurs.



I have been blogging (and trapping Google searchers) since 2005 and am pretty much the last ancient dinosaur blog that hasn't migrated to Word Press where all the cool people are. I threaten to do it a lot, though. Just to keep people on their toes.

I write at the Homeschool Post (which is running its 7th annual blog awards for homeschoolers right now); with another 19 amazing bloggers you might already know:



I don't use proper grammar. Unless I'm taking a test.

You can find out more about me at these links:
About Me
Faith
Homeschool Journey in a Nutshell

So how about you? Where did you surf in from? What's your blog link? How long have you been blogging? Have you been to any blog conferences yet?

I can't wait to meet you all!




I LOVE MY SPONSORS:

Doorposts: Parenting and Homeschooling Biblical Guidebook

If you are one of the many homeschoolers out there who have chosen to homeschool because you felt that public school was lacking in moral instruction for your kids, this review is for you. Doorposts is a Christian company that provides Bible and Character-based materials for students, parents, and homeschoolers, so it is assumed that anyone looking in to purchasing something from them already has a Christian faith. With that being said, I wanted to share a little about their spiral bound book called "For Instructions in Righteousness". This review was for the newly released (May 2011) version ..."Third Edition of For Instruction in Righteousness" which was originally put out in 1993 and revised in 1995. It now has over 60,000 copies sold.


I don't know about you, but I am always on the look out for good devotionals to do with my kids. We read through our Bible a few chapters every day for school, but I like to add a devotional reading as well. Over the years we have read some great books during this time - and I have listed many of them in my Homeschool Series Curriculum pages. A while back we added "For Instructions in Righteousness" to our devo book list.

I was blown away by the amount of information in this book... which is a "Topical Reference Guide for Biblical Child-Training". It's like a Character Bible -- using the Bible's verses to cover each area of 'sin' or discipline need in a child's life. When I began browsing through it at first use, I started to feel really depressed -- that I didn't have this book when my children were TINY. Junior High is really too late to start being THIS consistent with child training. I'm so glad I have "For Instructions of Righteousness" for my younger set - the 2 year old and 4 month old... and hope that by working hard to undo some lazy parenting habits, I can still get in a lot of good mileage with the big kids before they are gone.

Here are the topics that are covered in this guide:

Sins of a Proud Heart (pride, self-righteousness, hypocrisy, stubbornness, disobedience, defiance, scoffer/scorner, arguing/contention, brawling, vanity/over-concern for beauty, judging others, confidence in riches)

Sins of Discontent (complaining/ingratitude, selfishness/greed, envy/jealousy, covetousness, rules for borrowers, theft)

Sins of Unbelief (easily swayed/double-minded, backsliding, discouragement/giving up, depression, fear, worry/anxiety)

Sins of an Undisciplined Life (laziness, unfaithful employee, haste, impatience/irritability, anger, gluttony/pleasure-seeking, drunkenness/drug-abuse, immorality/sexual sin, sinful thought life, immodesty, wastefulness/extravagance/carelessness)

Sins of the Tongue (lying/deceit/dishonesty, shifting blame/making excuses, false witness, gossip/slander/tattletale, meddling/busybody, foolish/unclean speech, flattery)

Sins of an Unloving Heart (hatred, bitterness, hitting/biting/kicking/harming others, revenge, bullying/cruelty, unkind/unwise speech, insensitivity/lack of compassion)

Sins in Relationships (bad friendships, poor manners, teasing/troublemaking)

Comparisons of the Obedient and the Disobedient (foolishness vs. wisdom, wickedness vs. righteousness, comparison worksheet)

Each disciplinary area covers the following:

• General information and commandments about the particular sin
• What happens, or should happen, to the person that commits the sin according to scripture
• What should the person do if they have a problem or infraction with the sin/behavior
• What the sin is likened to in scripture
• Stories that illustrate the consequences of the sin in scripture
• The blessings of the opposite virtue
• Stories that illustrate the blessings of the opposite virtue
• Verses to memorize

AND -- under each verse in every section throughout the chapters, there is practical advice, object lesson ideas, book suggestions, and parenting tips on how to go about training your child. [This book is a GOLDMINE of Biblical parenting tips - one I wish I had about 14 years ago.]

The back of the book also has a few helpful appendixes:

Helping your child learn scripture
Using this book as a bible study (wow - that would take forever)
Thoughts on rewarding children
Thoughts on paying children for work
Helpful Resource list

My thoughts on using the book for homeschooling are as follows:

1. You could use it for a devotional (which is what we've been doing)
2. You could use it when your child needs correction as a reference (a lot of people do, I am told)
3. You could use it for a bible study (as the back of the book/Appendix B suggests)
4. You could use it for a topical study to go with character-based unit studies (KONOS, anyone?)
5. You could use it for a list of bible memory verses that pertain to your child's area of weakness (or as an assignment to accompany discipline - writing verses)
6. You could use it for a parenting class/to brush up on your own skills (read it for yourself!)
7. You could use it as a GIFT (for another Bible-based homeschool friend/new parent)
8. You could use it for copywork material to practice handwriting or cursive (great material!)
9. You could use it as a family Bible study - to enrich everyone in your family and grow together in God.

What NOT to do with this book:

Let it collect dust!

Don't be like me and flip through the Doorposts materials and put them back down on the conference table, thinking - "Oh, that's nice. I'll have to add that to my list." Nine years later, with children on the razor edge between junior high and high school, you'll be kicking yourself (I know this from experience). I'm so blessed that I have another set of little ones to use this material on - and thankful for the reminder in this moment that parenting may not be easy, but it should always be consistent and Godly.

What a great refresher course for an old homeschool mule like me - one that has noticed a bit of laziness lately - due to the tired season I'm in and all the lack of sleep we've been experiencing. Time to get back to the standards of the Word and start building on the Rock that I planned this homeschool to be built on.



Here's how to find out more about Doorposts and "For Instructions in Righteousness": Check out your own copy of this book in person at the homeschool convention in Austin this weekend -- I didn't make it over there today, but plan to be there tomorrow. Or check the Doorposts website to see what conference they will be at near you. Sign up for their user group where you can email with other people who use their products to glean from other homeschoolers and parents with a like purpose. Check out their site and order a free catalog. Find out about the people who publish and sell Doorposts' materials: the Forster Family.

Want to see a sample chapter on arguing and complaining? Click the link and go read for yourself!

Disclosure: Doorposts provided "For Instructions in Righteousness" for this review free of charge, but the opinion expressed here is my own and in no way compensated for.

NOTE: Leave a comment on each of my review posts this week and I'll be picking some winners to any and all of the products that some of these great vendors are offering. One entry per post, per person - enter by Saturday - random winner announced next Sunday the 26th!

Quick Links
Review Week at Sprittibee
Where to Order : Doorposts Website
Doorposts Biblical Parenting Blog
Doorposts Newsletter

A Memorial Day Tribute

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ~ 1 John 3:16

The picture above is of my grandpa ... he flew during World War II for the Royal British Canadian Air Force. He held one of his best friends in his arms as he died. Years after his tour of duty (not sure how many of them he took), he was decorated with some of the highest honors for bravery that Canada offers to its military heroes. He yet never spoke of the experience and put behind him all the horror of war so that he could live out his life as a good husband, father, and ultimately grandfather before his death in 1991. I still miss him.

Today I dedicate my post that I wrote over at the Homeschool Post to his memory, and also to the life and example of my husband's father who fought in Vietnam.

Do come visit the Post to read more... "Memorial Day: A Deeper Reason for Remembering"...

Bad Homeschool Year... Blessings

Isaiah 48:10 ~ See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

This year started out with a list. Not the kind on paper that counts off the productive things you might accomplish, nor the kind that makes note of what you need… but the kind that resonates inside your head over and over like crashing ocean tides. Wave upon wave of negative, unseen emotions about perceived failures: ‘homeschool mom guilt’, so I have heard it labeled.

I’ve always been a list maker. I began listing things that were left unfinished – or never even started – last school year after the 2 year old was born: field trips un-taken, projects incomplete, math pages left in the workbook, plans that never materialized, “school undone”. Somewhere at the end of last 'school year' when my baby was young and I found out I was pregnant again, despair set in.

“We’ll never be able to get ahead,” Satan whispered and I listened. “I’m having a bad year, not a bad school day.” The negatives congealed in to a soup for my pity pot. I stewed.

In the process of trying to find a good ‘groove’ with my [VERY BUSY] budding toddler -- that loves to WRITE (with Sharpie) on EVERYTHING, EAT school supplies, and throw his toys in the toilet – I finally realized that any control I had was an illusion. For a perfectionist, this is a big realization. Life changing, in fact. The challenge of a school day routine became monumental – right up there with ‘getting out of debt’. Slow and steady has never been my mantra. I’m a dive in and sink or swim kind of girl… and have never been used to the sinking part (until midlife motherhood and juggling multiple age children came along, it seems).

This time, I sank. Right down to the depths – eyes open in disbelief -- staring up at the shining surface of what I “used to be able to accomplish”, suffocating on the thought that I was experiencing failure. [Failing at raising my kids would be failing at my life’s purpose as a Christian homeschooling parent. It just isn’t an option.] Where do you go from there? Was I supposed to admit defeat?

My school of thought shift demoted me from capable captain, easily navigating the sea of homeschool and homemaking … to browbeaten cabin boy, suddenly unsure of my abilities, having to learn the ropes all over again. Humble pie.

The storms continued to mount: Family illnesses like bronchitis and colds – passing through our entire family and taking us out of commission for two weeks or more, teenage rebellion and attitudes, hormones from pregnancy and mild depression following the baby being born – added to my daughter’s blossoming in to womanhood (enough estrogen to kill an elephant in my house between the both of us), laundry for SIX living people, the pressures of junior high and coming high-school academics, and the cherry on top of this monsoon: my daughter’s undiagnosed chronic back pain that plagued her for almost an entire year.

Not only did I begin to list the 'unfavorable weather' in my head (dwell on the difficulties and trails we have been facing), but I began to use them as excuses about why I 'couldn't'. It affected OUR (the whole family's) morale to the point that I was unable to see ANY good that was happening between hardships. I had storm-vision which influenced the whole family. I was run aground.

Homeschooling is difficult enough with a toddler in the mix – but adding an infant, three visits per week of back therapy, and random doctor visits what seems like every other week – and you have the recipe for my shipwreck. A shipwreck that covered the whole sea bed – house unkempt (it’s hard keeping up with sick crew), children constantly in transit (from one long wait at the doctor to another), financial stress (mounting medical costs, gas and convenience foods in our ‘necessary’ haste), and fatigue (when we were still for a change, no one wanted to do anything but REST).

The devil can use a good tsunami to knock you out of the deep – even sink you if you let him. I’m quite sure I was docked in negative thinking, listening to his lies far longer than I should have been. I kept wondering “why me” until a couple of weeks ago… when I finally learned how to say ‘THANK YOU’ to a savior who can walk on water and calm the winds.

My struggle through all of this has been learning a dependence on God. My prayer journal has filled up this year faster than almost any other (with the exception of the three months my husband was in Iraq in 2003). Looking back over it all, I see the constant begging and pleading with Him for a ‘break’ – calm waters, serene shores, a good catch – blessings and success… since this raising of children ‘ought to be’ something that He WANTS me to do well, right? I didn’t see the answer to these year-long prayers for my daughter’s back and her resulting faith crisis right away. I felt like it was a year of NO from God. It seemed like the prayers were all falling on deaf ears as the weeks and months turned in to a year or longer.

God can use a good tsunami to build a faith that wasn’t there before - or strengthen one that was. Sometimes he wipes the beach clean and starts fresh. In Morgan’s case, that was true. “Mama, I feel like God doesn’t care about me. He never answers my prayers.” My heart was breaking over her candid statements. So many of them; all just as heartbreaking. How does a mama answer the inquest amidst the gale of discouragement in her own heart?

My sweet 12 year old thought she was dying of cancer. They ran blood and urine test, sonograms, scans, x-rays, and dozens of exams. Each thing ruled out left more questions. At my darkest hour – unable to afford her muscle treatment any more, denied by the insurance company for help, still without diagnosis, her pain becoming more worrisome… I reached out to friends for prayer.

A friend of mine came over and laid hands on Morgan and prayed for each mysterious ailment. Her kidney and back pain that plagued her for a year went away as suddenly as it had come on. My friend asked God specifically, while holding her legs, to GROW them so that they were the same length. It was documented by two physicians, a chiropractor, a physical therapist and a massage therapist that her legs were nearly an inch different in length -- and her hips were not aligned right as a result. We all SAW that her legs were almost – if not – an inch different in length when we began that prayer.

Then we opened our eyes after the ‘Amen’ was said.

Her legs are now nearly the same length (most people have a slight difference that does not affect them one way or the other) – and she has not had back pain since. Her therapist told me that her hips are now aligned also (which we couldn't tell after the prayer).

God was setting up this miracle for my little girl; for me, even. He wanted to amaze me with the answer to all my prayers that I’m not even sure I was expecting. Yes, I asked him over and over for her complete healing... and I wanted it, but the lingering whittled away at my hope that it would happen, I suppose. There was no way to explain this healing away on a certain doctor, medicine or therapy. It was instant. It was visible. It was REAL. There were witnesses. She has NO more back pain. This is huge -- since a good portion of this past year she has been laid up flat on the bed or floor and unable to function enough to do school or chores.

I’m pretty sure that before a couple of weeks ago, I “knew” (head knowledge) that God could heal people… but I didn’t think He would see us as important enough to actually do it. I often think about all the trouble in the world and wonder how or why God has time for ME; but it was the trouble in my life that gave Him this opportunity to BUILD an unsinkable boat of faith for me to brave the sea on. I know my daughter is sailing on that same sea, too - and my goal I have had all along in life, the BIG overarching goal, has always been for my kids to grow up and love the Lord. She has been a different child in the past two weeks. It is like a dark looming cloud on the horizon has left us with clear skies and blue waters. I'm finally feeling wind in my sails.

James 1:2-8 ~ 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Do you ever wonder why God is silent? Maybe it’s not about you – or maybe He just has something ‘else’ planned than you imagine (something out-of-the-box). Maybe there’s a blessing hiding in your ‘bad’.

Lessons I have taken away from this last two years lost in the homeschool and parenting Bermuda Triangle:

1. Wait on God (in faith – even if your faith sometimes seems weak/the answer sounds like 'no'). He’s got a plan. <-- Hebrews 11

2. Count your blessings even when you are hurting (especially when you are hurting) and not sure how He’ll make it all come out right. <-- Romans 8:28

3. Check your attitude (sometimes troubles happen just so that God can work out a RIGHT reaction in your heart – try to remain teachable). <-- Psalm 66:10, Hebrews 12

4. PRIORITIZE PROPERLY: Imagine what life would be like today if it was the last day you had with your kids… and act likewise. Time is precious. The little stuff will all work itself out. <-- Ephesians 5:15-17

It’s amazing how the periscope of sickness allows us to see exactly what we need to be focusing our energy on. Everything else melts away in the distance. Our life and our health is a gift – and knowing how fleeting it is helps us to recognize the important things we don’t want to miss in this voyage.

I can honestly say today that I’m glad to have had a bad homeschool year… ok,-- or two. I’m making a different kind of list for my future sailing now: a blessing list. I’m not listening to that old sea-serpent any longer.

I’m so glad God didn’t let me abandon ship when things got difficult.



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S is for Street ... Zipping Down the Fast Lane

Life is crazy for us right now.

For example:

* This morning my 14 year old has a chip on his shoulder.
* My 12 year old has therapy for her muscles in her back -- and we are leaving the house in just a few moments. This throws a kink in our school day like nothing else. Twice a week back therapy is not easy to school around.
* The 2 year old drew all over his toys with a red marker.
* The 3 month old spit up an entire feeding on my shirt and his brother's shirt. And the pillow that goes on my bed.
* I am possibly getting mastitis. Who has time for a heating pad 15 minutes before every feeding?
* The cat puked on the carpet in the game room.
* My mom is at the eye doctor being checked because of lost vision -- possibly another scare with diabetic retinopathy.
* Tomorrow we have four dentist appointments back to back.
* Daddy has a dentist appointment Friday and will probably be home part of the day -- which was our only day at home all day this week without doctor, dentist or therapy appointments... so we'll probably get very little schooling accomplished that can't be taken in the car with us... on the go.

Do you ever have weeks like that? Where life is a blur? With all our health troubles this past year, it has felt like I am living in a waiting room. Or a vehicle. School and life feel like they are on hold.

But are they? I'm sure there are lessons being learned that couldn't come from any book on our shelves. I'm pretty sure that we'll emerge from this as better people (at least better multi-taskers for sure).

Tell me some of your tricks for handling the stress of life in the fast lane. How do you find time for yourself? Time to truly enjoy the children even when life is chaos? How do you plan and still allow for life's interruptions? How do you handle it when your schedule has to be tossed out a box car window as your train derails?

Hang in there... you aren't alone.

Hosea 11:3-4 ~

3 It was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
taking them by the arms;
but they did not realize
it was I who healed them.
4 I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love.
To them I was like one who lifts
a little child to the cheek,
and I bent down to feed them.

More info about this alphabetical photo meme is below...

Join up for the Homeschool Post has A B See Meme (an alphabetical photo meme) for a chance to win a prize each month. Each week they put FIVE of the best alphabet pictures on their blog each week to showcase them and once a month, a random winner is selected from the best photos of the month. All you do is upload your photos to their Flickr Group - so you don't even technically have to be a blogger to join... you just have to have an alphabetical themed photo and a flickr account! By the way, Flickr is free!

The meme is posted on Fridays each week and you don't necessarily have to start on the letter A or go in any particular order or at any particular speed... and you can skip weeks or not - up to you entirely.

Here are the links to the past few 'A B See' posts I have done here:
A is for antique.
B is for bugging big-sis.
C is for computer.
D is for digger.
E is for eat... and Elmers.
F is for fried rice.
G is for goofy girl.
H is for Heather.
I is for insect.
J is for joy.
K is for Kreative Spelling and Killer Homeschool Deals.
L is for live music.
M is for matryoshka.
N is for national cemetery.
O is for Orchids and Opryland.
P is for Pregnant.
Q is for quack.
R is for rocks.

Tip: Use the dictionary to get ideas if you are stumped on a letter. No excuses! Get clicking!

You have until each Friday morning to load your picture on the Flickr group and be considered for the top five that will be displayed next week. Don't forget: A prize goes out each month to one random participant!

Resurrection

There are disappointments in life, it's true.

I have had to let go of people: you can't make them love you, you can't please them all, we are all terminal - and our loved ones eventually will pass on.

I have had to let go of dreams: growing up, you realize that many of the dreams of youth aren't attainable... and when you raise a family, many times a parent must sacrifice dreams for reality's needs.

I have had to move away from places I loved... and I've been stuck - unable to afford to go places and see people I care about for various reasons.

We've had our down and out days... floods ravishing our homes, jobs lost, friends and family dying, dangerous situations, desperate times... hearts breaking.

But there has always been this:

Job 19:25 ~ "I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth."

I know that whatever comes, I have an eternal reward waiting. There is comfort and hope in the Gospel story because of my Lord's resurrection and promise of eternal life for those that love Him. Even if there is pain on this side of eternity...

John 17:24 ~ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world."

Take away a man's purpose, and you take away the meaning from his life. Purpose is essential. The Christian has purpose because of the resurrection of Christ.

He rose again. That means there's more to this life than heartache and eventually dust.

People may fail you. Life may hurt.

But JESUS LIVES.

I know my redeemer lives. And that makes all the difference in the world.

May your heart be open to Him and His promises this Easter... as the world celebrates his resurrection and the promise of His return. May you find healing and hope in His Word. He's the only thing that won't disappoint.

Relevant Sponsorship Request for October 2011

1. Conference Divas, 2. iPhone Pic, 3. Wonderful Grace, 4. Ann Voskamp, 5. Hot Mama, 6. Broken Phone, 7. Silver Reminder, 8. Beth and Cheryl, 9. The Kiss of a Friend, 10. Flowers, 11. Pregnant, 12. Traverse Dash, 13. Chevy Reflections, 14. Rear End, 15. Flat Travelers, 16. Hugging Ann, 17. Geek Central, 18. Sheraton, 19. Session, 20. Tools, 21. Sally and Jenn, 22. Road Warriors, 23. 1,000 Gifts, 24. Holly (not Hobby) and Heather, 25. Blue Ridge Bliss, 26. Speaker Fun with Flatties, 27. Yummy Mess, 28. Backseat Mo, 29. Traffic, 30. Self Portrait, 31. DaySpring Treats, 32. Twitter Glow, 33. Sweet Penny, 34. Homeschool Mamas, 35. Tennessee Travelers

Last October, I had the privilege to attend a wonderful conference in Pennsylvania, by way of the Smoky Mountains and Washington DC. My whole family went on a colossal field trip together (talk about a bonding experience). It was a dream come true - a God-sized one. If you click on the link in my sidebar where it talks about the Relevant Conference, you can stroll down memory lane with me.

It's kind of early to be talking about a conference that happens in October, when it's only April. That's what I thought... and then I found out that a lot of people are thinking about it (and tweeting about it) - because it SOLD OUT last month. I had resigned myself to accept that it just wasn't in the cards for me to attend this year. Then a friend of mine sent me a message about the (In)Courage sponsorships. I started crying like a big fat cry-baby when I read the post (and took that as a sign that maybe I really do need to go again if God is putting it on my heart to feel so deeply about Relevant). They are offering 8 different sponsorships to eight different women - so that they can attend the conference. It's in Pennsylvania, sure, and I'm in Texas... but if God wants me to go, I'm more than willing!

Here are the eight sponsorships that (In)Courage is offering:

1. A Hope & Encouragement (DaySpring Card Ministry partnership)
2. (In)Courage Photographer
3. Home Blogger
4. Frugal Blogger
5. Micah 6:8 Sponsorship (social justice & mercy)
6. A Writer’s Craft
7. Newbie Blogger
8. Veteran Blogger

Now I want you to guess which ones I applied for. I'll give you a hint: I applied for FOUR of them. You can apply for as many as you want, but you can only win one.

This year, if I went, the family would have to stay at home. Just me and the 9 month old (wow - he'll be 9 months old by October!) would be jetting off to PA, unless my 12 year old had her money saved to go with me. One of her best friends lives in PA - 30 miles away from the conference location (and she's a super awesome babysitter and photography assistant)... so she might be traveling with me. I'd like that. I'd also love to visit my buddy, Beth.

Would you pray for me? Pray that if it is the Lord's will that I attend Relevant 2011, that He makes a way without debt and trouble. Pray that my heart is steadfast and accepting of whatever His answer may be - either way.

And hey - YOU - if you love blogging and being challenged to write for the Lord and do it well... why not apply for one of the 8 sponsorships yourself? What have you got to lose?

...And Then They're Gone

My great grandmother - the tiniest girl, youngest of four, her father's favorite. She was a black sheep like me. A survivor. She left home young and married a troubled man who drank too much and loved too little. Divorce was unheard of back then... but she endured it after close to ten children in ten years. One of those ten was my grandma Jessie (named after her mama, the littlest girl in this photo).

The father in this photo is a man named Fred. His daddy was a wounded Southern veteran from the Civil War. He arrived home to find that his wife had remarried. Apparently the friend that saw him get shot and taken to a military hospital wasn't a real friend. She believed the lie that he was dead. Fred, only a boy then, walked 9 miles to his father after he returned to town... then moved away to live with his daddy, leaving his mama and her new husband behind.

I love family history. The people we came from ... they were real. They experienced emotion... trials... life. There's flesh and bone reality lurking behind those faces on the age-colored photographs of our ancestors.

Life moves fast and then we all are just an image in someone's scrapbook.

We forget how quickly the days pass. The newborn uncurling his fingers to grasp your hand... now holding a hand out to grasp a set of keys and take his driver's test. The sweet bubbling smile of a newlywed maturing in to the sad tears of a wife lamenting the loss of her lifelong partner.

Even this shall pass.

I know I've been absent lately - just living life with these four children. It's a new dynamic. It takes some time to get adjusted. Not to mention added sick-time... eight little lungs with bronchitis.

On a particularly busy day this week, I got a letter from my great aunt. Out of the blue, she sent me just what I needed to hear. Look up there at the little girl in the photo and just imagine... it was one of her ten children who wrote the letter below. Time really is slipping by...

Heather, love -

Hang in there. Before you know it, the children will be out and gone. Then like me, you will wonder - were they ever babies at all?

I look at the pictures and some times I think "were they really real... and mine"? Of course, I see the pictures - now all grown up - and know they are my son and daughter... as I get older (every day), I realize they have lives and families of their own. Like me now, their children are grown up and on their own. Bill will be 66 in August and Laurel will be 65 in October.

Time passes on.

I love you and your family and know what a busy time your life is. Take care of yourself dear. Love to all of you. I pray your children are well at this time.

Aunt Dot

I cried after I read the letter... imagining the busy moments speeding by and leaving me empty handed with just memories of how wonderful it was to hold each of these blessings for just a short time. To learn with them and laugh with them, cry with them and hug them close.

I'm doing what one anonymous reader on this site suggested a while back (thank you):

Decide each day to give yourself fully to loving your children. Don't hold back.

Really, that's all life is about.

Amen.