Email Funnies: Words Women Use

*They* say that you should not post when you have 'blog block' because it decreases your chances of keeping your content excellent. I'm not sure my content ever reaches the excellent point, so I don't know that this rule pertains to me anyway. However, I got a funny email yesterday (that I've gotten at least three or four other times in the past decade or so)... and I wanted to share (partially because I have nothing better to say, and partially because I enjoyed it and hope you will to). I altered the content a bit - because I like doing that sort of thing on funny emails. This post might be helpful to those of you who don't have email and are living in the dark ages. But then, you wouldn't be surfing the internet to read blogs, then, would you? Oh, well... enjoy today's fluff (hopefully excellent original content will come in the future):

Words Women Use

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. You are stupid if you do it.

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome. That is however, unless she says it with sarcasm in her voice. And then it means "You really blew it this time, buddy."

8.) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying she's done talking with you because she thinks your head is as solid as the rock on her finger (but not worth half as much).

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.

Tell this to the men you know to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Tell this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, 'cause they know its true!

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