January 09, 2006

The Hard Topic of Abortion

I ran into a post by Tim at Pro Life Blogs this weekend that I had to read. It was an excellent article by Judie Brown on “What Women Want”.

This is a topic I rarely discuss, much less talk about, because of my own sad and sordid past. I get very angry deep down when liberals accuse me of not understanding the choice issue, when I have been on the front lines (i.e.: cold steel table), and emotionally wounded forever over it. Only God can heal the scar of a woman’s grief over a past abortion – especially one you changed your mind about mid-procedure (i.e.: too late). Even with a healed wound, you continue to carry a weakness in that area that is easily bruised. It is easy to cover it up and not talk about it… especially in the church. With today’s abortion statistics, however, chances are you sat next to someone who’s had one in church this morning (43% of women have had one by age 45). You may never hear about it – and she may even deny it… because let’s face it… it is a badge of shame.

Over the years while living with my memory of that awful day, I have discovered many sites which bring me to my knees in tears and regret. Here below are a few sites that have changed my life forever. I urge you to keep your children away from them, and I forewarn you that you should take great caution upon entering them if you have any un-delt-with issues over a past abortion of your own. Some of the photographs may be graphic, and can invoke strong emotional reaction. I tend to be a realist, though. We live in a fallen world. It is better to know the depths of human evil so you can pray against it and be prepared to fight it. A soldier of Christ must know how low his enemy will stoop… and our enemy is not young women or abortion doctors (most of which are sadly misled and unable to see the horror of abortion for what it truly is). Our enemy is the devil – who would kill every one of us in utero if he could.

The Silent Scream - Video put out by former abortionist Dr. Bernard Nathanson who was (at one time) the director of the largest abortion clinic in the Western world.

The Silent Scream - A second website that actually has the text and a few non-graphic photos as well. You should go here if you want to read the script and you don’t think you can watch the video.

Abortion TV - Hundreds of links, images, stories, and more. Love their motto: “Tune in to the Truth”.

Gravity Teen - Stories of Abortion Survivors (yes, there are a few babies who live through the process)

If you happen to be a young girl who found this site while searching for information about abortion or abortion procedures… or if you were just looking for a clinic location in your local area. PLEASE consider that this is a child… one that looks like you, and has your eyes… an innocent baby who is a gift of God given to you to hug and love you for the rest of your life. You are it’s angel of mercy and comfort. There is no other earthly title that rises above “Mother”. Please reconsider the death of your child… and if you are unable to keep her or him, please consider adoption.

I have a friend who has been trying to have a child for a long time. She lost a baby after carrying it to term. He died in the hospital. Her precious glory baby. She signed up with an adoption agency because she was afraid that she would not be able to carry a baby to term again and suffer the same loss. She got a call last week and has gone to meet the mother of a baby which will be born in February. This mother is the mother of three other children, and was divorced recently. She has already had an abortion since the divorce, and it so scarred her emotionally that she vowed to herself, “If I ever become pregnant again, and am not married, I will have the child and give it up for adoption.” Her selfless act of love for this child has blessed not only the baby, but a hurting and barren mother. I believe God will richly bless this woman for her choice.

This is the truth that the pro-death culture does not speak about. The choice is life or death. It is not a choice of convenience or inconvenience. An abortion is not convenient. It is the ONE doctor appointment that will haunt you for the rest of your life. That’s not convenient if you ask me. Yes, children are work… but they are also the richest blessing on the planet. More valuable than a house or car, than all the money you could fit in your bank account… they are a crown of glory that will love and cherish you for your whole life – even if you aren’t perfect and make mistakes. Nothing is as precious aside from your walk with God and your loving spouse. Although our culture is dark indeed, there are glimmers of hope in the recent awareness on this issue. It is wonderful that many teens today are waking up to the truth.

Please pray for my friend and the birth mother of this precious child. Please pray for those who may stumble upon this site in the midst of a scary, unwanted and unplanned pregnancy. May the Lord give them peace and wisdom to make the selfless choice of life.

Image courtesy of abortiontv.com.

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Grizzly Mama said...

I'm sorry that you have had the experience that you have had - and I understand as I have gone down that road myself as a young woman. I have very strong feelings about abortion and the fact that the 'choice' is presented as the one that has no ramifications. It is presented as having no drawbacks.

When it came time for my husband and me to have babies - we couldn't! The reality that had been buried so deep in me - the one that I had denied for so long - had to be dealt with. It really messed me up but what became clear is that what I had believed, or what I had been led to believe and chose to accept - was a lie.

The truth is that having an abortion was very painful emotionally if not physically. I will never forget that baby and I often think, how old would my baby be? What would my baby look like? What kind of life would my baby and I have had? I always regret it. Always. It has been over 20 years ago.

I consider myself blessed with 2 beautiful girls - and it was not easy for us to have them. I know MANY women who dream of having a baby but languish on adoption lists for years. They are wonderful women and their husbands are good men. One woman I know just received her beautiful newborn adopted girl. She's perfect and I know that adoption would be a difficult choice for any mother who cannot take care of her baby. Abortion is exceedingly difficult as well but they don't tell you that down at the clinic, do they?

It was almost pushed on me as the only choice I had. Truly I did not want to do it - but I believed it was probably the best thing to do. What would have happened if someone - anyone - had stopped the process and said, 'There are other choices that you can make - let's talk about them.' I needed someone to do that. I was not strong enough and I was very young and confused.

I will always live with the choice that I made and I will always regret it.

Sprittibee said...

Thanks for sharing your experience with me, Monicar. A lot of times, I feel like I'm the only church-going Christian who has had a sinful past. It isn't easy hanging out with people who never drank, smoked, or partied and look at you in disbelief if you mention anything about where you came from. I know a lot of them are well-meaning, and they really don't know how to handle the fact that you have those kinds of scars... but we all need to know that Jesus came for sinners, and in every church - we are ALL made up of just that! Chances are, there are many more women like me in the church than care to admit. It is today's hush-hush topic... just as divorce was in the 1950's through the 1970's. Today, you will meet a lot of divorced people in church... but getting anyone to talk openly about abortion is nearly impossible. With almost 50% of women having had one by age 45... you would think that SOMEONE would need to talk about it. I probably wouldn't have, if God had not healed my heart and forgiven me. It feels good to be forgiven. I think that's why Paul is my favorite apostle. My bible teacher used to ask us in class... "Has anyone here ever killed a Christian?" - meaning have you been worse than Paul. I always wanted to raise my hand in class to admit that I did. But I never raised it. I felt like a murderer. I'm glad God isn't going to count that against us on judgement day, sister!

God bless and heal you. Trust me, I know what you meant by everything you said.

Spunky said...

Thanks for sharing. We all share a sinful past. Though I may not have had an abortion the lie of the abortionist affects us all. Thank you for your boldness to share.

Anonymous said...

Psalm 34:4-5 is my reminder to our enemy that by the blood of Jesus Christ I am no longer clothed in shame, and I share it with all my dear sisters who have been wounded by abortion: "I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Amen!

Anonymous said...

Heather, you really have such a beautiful way with words. I can only imagine how hard that is it share, but I just know your story will reach someone that needs to hear those very words RIGHT NOW.

Grizzly Mama said...

You are right women don't want to talk about it - especially Christian women.

I am very angry that abortion is STILL being pushed as the painless choice and the easy way out. Millions of women who have made that 'choice' would disagree with that.

I have made my peace but still am sad about what I did. There is no going back is there? Young women today need to know how it's going to affect them.

Jan said...

What a powerful post. The deep sadness that abortion draws from me is almost overwhelming.
I am sorry, Heather, that you've had to suffer so much personal pain because of your decision. I have often wondered how any woman can justify abortion, knowing in her innermost heart, that she, the mother of all living, will be killing a child.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. It gives a firsthand perspective on this painful issue.

Sheri said...

What guts it took for you to share your story Heather and MonicaR! I applaud you for admitting the pain that the abortions caused, I think so many times women bury what they are feeling and try to convince themselves all is alright.

The reason I am responding is your comment Heather: "Sometimes I feel like the only church-going christian who has had a sinful past."

Remember ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty (especially not Satan) for sins in your past. God has FORGIVEN YOU!

Like you said, chances are you sat by someone in church that had an abortion...but it's a FACT that you sat by someone who has sinner.

mommy to six J's said...

thanks for sharing your very emotional story. I myself have never had a abortion but I volunteer at our local precnancy center and councel girls about the true facts of a abortion. I will pray for you and I will also pray for any one who is ina situaton they don't seem to know how to get out of that they would see your blog.I wll also pray for your friend I hope the adoption goes well for her. I also have a very sinful past drugs alchol and lots and lots more. You are so right Jesus dies on th cross fro our sins and HE loves us so much GOD BLESS YOU love, CHAR

Sprittibee said...

Spunky - Thanks. Yes, it is a real shame that young girls aren't told the truth. I certainly wasn't. Not ONE person ever sat me down and gave me the REAL FACTS. Yes, I got handed a stack of planned parenthood papers, but NONE of them dealt with real issues that I had afterwards.

Patricia - AMEN! :) Great verse, thanks!

Thanks Amanda! ;)

Monicar - You and me, girl. There's NO ENEMY of Planned Parenthood like a post-abortion Christian.

Jan - There is just no way to describe the thoughts and fears and flailing desperation that brings young girls to the abortion clinic. But I can attest to the fact that they are not in their right minds. What I can not understand is how so many can go back for seconds... or how women with children can go to have abortions. Never could I do that knowing the joy of motherhood.

Sheri - Yes, I know that we all have sinned... it just hurts when some people look down on one sin as being worse than others. I think this is how a lot of us treat homosexuals also. We should all be more loving towards those who are lost. It is easy to look down our noses from those church pews... but what we need to remember is that Jesus not only taught in the temple, he ate in the houses of sinners. He put his hands on the unclean and felt compassion. That is the true test of Christianity.... can we love the unlovable? It is so hard. Being a real follower of Christ is not for sissies.

Char - Thank you for sharing that... and for your service to others who are in desperate need of a prayer warrior and Christian advice in their time of need. I have met another mom who homeschools recently that also has spent many years volunteering in clinics and crisis centers. I have often thought of doing it myself, but have not as of yet been able to or done it. Talking about it helps to heal you, as strange as that seems. Just lke letting a wound air out helps you heal and scab over. God allows some pain to touch us (concequences for sin) so that we can comfort others who suffer. I regret what I did, but I am glad that I know the value and meaning of life now. When I look into my children's eyes, I know how much they are worth. I also know how precious each moment with them is... because God could have taken them from me or never given them to me for what I did. His mercy is demonstrated daily in my life. Each breath, each hug, each smile from those kids is undeserved grace from my savior.

Real Life Sarah said...

Wow Heather! Thank you SO much for sharing your story! Those who have been there need to know that there is grace and healing and forgiveness. Those of us who haven't need to know that our sisters may be hurting deeply, and we need to love them like Jesus does!

I haven't been down your road, but I was very destructive in my youth, and very well could have! I'm so thankful to Jesus for all he's done in your life, and how you are impacting others!



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