March 02, 2009

Oh, No You Di'nt !!!

bw-belly

So here it is, folks: THE BELLY at 9 months. Yeah, it's big, alright. This was last week, too... and I haven't been getting smaller since then. I can't reach my feet, people - and it's torture waiting for a ten year old to put your socks on for you.

I heard about a chick that had her baby at a gas station the other day and didn't even know she was in labor - completely painless process. What's up with that?! Why do some people get all the breaks and others get all the stretch marks.

Fortunately, I put my time in on the stretchmark thing ten years ago (no more, please). I'm counting on the doctor taking pity on me tomorrow as I waddle in to her office like the "un-jolly green giant-lady". FE FI FO FUM. Tears and begging have been suggested to work on doctors (as a form of mind control like "the Force" in Star Wars) by my cousin. I may actually try them out. They won't even be fake at this point!

The big thing I wanted to share with you today, though (besides the HONKIN' BELLY SHOT) is what my husband actually emailed me today from work.

Here's what I sent him (abbreviated, of course - because I get a little long-winded - as you might already have noticed):

Honey,

I have an appointment tomorrow at the doctor and I'll need to take my truck. My mom has an appointment and can't pick the kids up from choir, so I will just drive them myself and pray I don't go in to labor!

(Then I shared some information about the kids schedule and asked about his sister. Nothing but small talk, really.)

Love you,
Heather

[He's been taking my truck since I'm a sloth right now and am afraid to drive because of contractions and limited space between me and the wheel. Short legs are not ideal for pregnant drivers.]

HERE WAS HIS RESPONSE:

Cool. You can have my truck tomorrow. I'll give you a "crash" course on stick shift driving tonight. See ya tonight.

PS Have dinner cooked and ready to serve when I get home.

Love you too,
Kevin

[In other words, he's telling me I can use his truck, not have MINE back - and his is out of break-pads and the truck is a standard - which obviously, I can't drive - especially not 9 months pregnant and teetering at the brink of delivery.]

Good thing I know he was kidding. He loves to jest. He's lucky I'm letting him eat at the table with me after a comment like that. I need to rent that movie about the husband and wife that switch places when she's pregnant. Either that, or go borrow one of those hundred pound fake pregnant bellies from the Lamaze class at the hospital (or 3 of them - after all, the Viking is no small package). I think that when we get to heaven, we need to ask God to let all the men in the audience stay pregnant for the first 9 months they are there. He does say "revenge is mine", right?? Surely he won't forget our suffering.


Quick Links:
The Belly (8 month mark)
The Belly (almost 6 months)


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10 comments:

Amber @ Classic Housewife said...

Oh, you're too funny. So is your hubs. :)

You're belly pics make me nostalgic and slightly sad. If I DID have a fourth, my oldest would be nine, almost ten by the time the baby was born. I'm sure I could talk her into helping me with my socks, too. :D

Leslie said...

Hello little "un Green Giant",
OMGosh, from what you have been saying this is NOTHING!!! Did you see Octumom? Granted there were eight in there, but you really are NOT that HUGE!

Yes, it is pretty said having to wait to have your kids put your socks on for you! You get a pity point for that one! hahaha

I am praying for you and for your Dr. appointment today!!!
Leslie
LeslieVeg@msn.com
leslielovesveggies.blogspot.com

Rana said...

Just to let you know I went 38 weeks with twins I had 13pounds of baby 6lbs 1oz and 7lbs 5oz. I went to my Doc apt. on monday grabed her by the lapels and shook her and said "They have to come out this week". She made a phone call and I was induced that thursday. The scare tactic does work.

Karen said...

Actually I think your belly is adorable but my fingers are crossed that the good ole doctor gives you some mercy. I'm jealous but what you have to remember is... I'm 34 and have yet to give birth or even stay pregnant past 7 weeks. So there is the motive behind my envies... LOL

BTW, you and hubby are so cute! Thank God he wasn't serious. Hasn't he heard it's bad for a man's health to tease a 9 month pregnant woman. LOL

Sherry said...

ROFLMHO! He knows you can't catch him, the stinker!

I'm sorry you're miserable, but I had five naturally & believe it's best for the baby (& yes, I KNEW I was in labor). I'm praying God will give you what's best for you & little Thorfinn there. You'll just have to put up with it. ;-)

(Thanks for the chuckle.)

Kelly @ Wisdom Begun said...

LOL Okay, so, my hubby would totally say something like that, too. Good thing he is kidding.

Wish I was there to help. I know how it is near the end.

Mrs. Darling said...

Your title on this is too funny.. My 12 year old says that all the time.
I think your belly is cute and so mommyish! Wishing you the best!

Nikowa@KHA said...

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah .aka. Mamalotsoftots said...

awww. The pic made me a little nostalgic too. lol. ♥

Funny post. Good to see you still have your humor. ;) Hope you get a green light from the docs!

SchoolinRHome said...

Love the belly shot! So cute.
Your hubby seems great to try to make you laugh when you have a worry!
Can't wait to "Meet" the newborn
SchoolinRHome

 

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