Not on the A List

This post is going to sound really weird for someone who is trying to raise money to attend a blogging conference. I'll admit it up front so you won't think I haven't seen the irony in the situation. I figured I needed to be honest about the feelings I've had today... especially since you kind folks are all rooting for me to go to "typeamom". I've had people I didn't know retweeting my tweets and have met a few people through the last few days that are amazing - just because I used the #typeamom hashtag on Twitter.

I have had some astounding epiphanies which are just too important for me not to write down. And as I've always said in my bi-line for the past four years of blogging (before the bi-line on my blog disappeared in this latest redesign), "I like thinking through my fingertips". I type it out. That's how I get things done mentally. Heaven help me when I don't have a keyboard handy. Just ask my kids.

Here are a few little known facts about Sprittibee:

1. I'm actually very introverted. I'm a one-on-one type person. I can GO to a crowded place and mingle... but my persona grata is hanging out with a few close friends or my very own family. You wouldn't think-it, wouldja? I have even had a lot of friends tell me that I seem very social when I'm out. I seem like a people person. But inside, I'm just your average wallflower. For reals. I'd much rather be squishing my cat and curled up talking with you face-to-face than speaking to a group. I can talk to the world from my computer in my pajamas... and that's just how I like it.

"So what's a girl like that wanting to go to a blog party anyway", you ask.

Good question. I think it's just this:

I am a blog addict. I am a homeschool mom. I need to prove that my 'invisible friends' that I'm always talking about are REAL so my husband won't tease me any more. And just like I said on my sponsor post for "typeamom",...

I'd love to be in a room full of people who understand the urge to tweet, Facebook, and blog as your first response to any given situation. I get the strangest looks from my real-life buddies when I "blog-talk".

2. I started my blog as a random comment on someone else's blog. It was a favor to a friend who asked me to encourage the other blogger. I finally found a place to dump my brain... that wouldn't get flooded like all those countless journals I wrote in did. I never intended to be an A-list blogger. I never intended to make money at it. I never thought about a book deal in the making. I was shocked when I got my first free book off of Amazon (after nearly 3 years of blogging)... and when the review items started piling up in my email box. Being a poor homeschool family, I certainly wasn't going to turn them away.

However, I cringe at the thought of my blog turning in to a 'magazine' or an 'advertisement' or a overwrought 'horse and pony show'. Unless that horse and pony were part of Wordless Wednesday, of course.

I like the idea that someone is reading and being blessed. Like this comment I got today:

Blommom has left a new comment on your post "Under Attack":

Thank you! I just stumbled across your blog post looking for clip art to accompany teaching Ephesians 6:10-17 in our homeschool. Years ago my mother made posters with Scriptures and little picture hints for those who couldn't read. Now that my kids are getting old enough to really "hide the Word" I want to follow in my mom's footsteps.
Thank you for your Scripture-filled post that blesses me years after you wrote it!


Posted by Blommom to Sprittibee at 9/16/2009 10:20 PM

I like the fact that there are perks now and then (Lord knows we need them with only one bread-winner in our family of 5). I love meeting all of you (have met so many cool bloggers in person that I adore) and feeling some kind of groovy blogginish connection... but I'm already in over my head with emails (want to blow up the inbox or the laptop - not sure which) and have no money for a secretary - so that makes me a small fry in blog land. You gotta be able to keep up with the networking if you want to 'keep up' at all.

3. I didn't even know what Type-A-Mom's title was patterned after until today. When I saw my friend Dawn's poster with the big A, I thought she put the A in the middle because it looked asymmetrical. I'm a formatting queen and a homeschool mom who likes things done in an orderly fashion. You always start your ordering with A and then B, C, and D. Then I went to the website at Type-A Mom and DID notice the "Bring it!" reference and thought it was a tad bit over the top for me. My version of 'bring it' is in 12 month clothes, weighs 19 lbs. and has a smile that lights up the world. Sure, I like to laugh and get goofy, but I'm SO not a super-star. I'd be learning more than teaching at ANY conference. I'm the back-pew, discreet breastfeeding, thinking type - always composing a blog post in my head and would rather be behind the camera than in front of it.

That doesn't sound so "Type-A". Yeah, I figured it out (probably haven't found the "kick me because I'm slow" sign on my back, though). I got a tweet after my litany of requests for sponsorship were made and my tweet-buddy used the term "Type-A" without the "mom" attached.

I don't want to be unattached. Before the blog, I'm a mom. Plain and simple.

A lightbulb went off. Suddenly "typing mom" became "important mom" (the real definition is "agressive or hostile". The hyphen (which I had thought was type-a-mom, like a writer, ya-know?) was corrected. Type-A stood alone. "Bring it" in the subtitle finally made sense. But then - OOOOHHHH (my aha moment finally burning away the thick fog I live in), then... I saw my tweets for sponsorship as a popularity contest... and it kind of made me think... "Eeew, that's just not my style."

I've never been one of those "click-this-button-and-you'll-get-a-thousand-twitter-fans" type networker. I network because I love the people and I love to write. I don't want to be a diva. Feels good to be loved and accepted ("friended"), but not "fanned" (you Facebookers will know what I'm talkin' about).

So there. Now that's all off my chest.

Do I want to go to "Type-A Mom"? Sure. I have friends there that I have known online for years. I'm greatful to the sponsors that have given me funds towards the goal of getting to NC. I'm willing to brave the airport (I miss flying and haven't flown since my first born was a baby). I'm willing to sling the baby and put up with him being stuck to me like glue from the airplane to the hotel. I'm even willing to drive 3 plus hours from Georgia to North Carolina so that I can chit-chat with Dawn and use her extra stroller. It would be a delight to be in a blog world for a weekend.

If 'Type-A Mom' is happy with what I'm bringing, I'm happy to go hang with my bloggin' hommies and look like the biggest dork at the conference. There won't be cocktails, fancy nails, spike heels or new clothes for me. I'll be the chick with the cutest baby in the world on the back row.

I'll be the one behind the camera. And that's OK with me.